


Hate me so good

by wildcat_88



Series: Hate me so good [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Angst and Feels, Daddy Kink, Doctor/Patient, Dominant Kylo Ren, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Masturbation, Porn With Plot, Rey Kenobi, Size Kink, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, Vaginal Fingering, Virgin Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-05-06 02:33:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 45,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14632266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildcat_88/pseuds/wildcat_88
Summary: Let's just say that I never thought the first time a guys fingers entered me that it would be during a gynecology exam-I also did not predict that the fingers would belong to a man that has the power to make me bend to his every will...





	1. Lost Kitten

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you all enjoy my take on Doctor Kylo ;)

Rey

_Clench_

I breathe in a ragged breath, the pain is _excruciating._

It feels like someone is punching me in the stomach over and over again- I grasp onto my abdomen willing for the pressure to let up. My periods are so irregular-constantly screwing me over- _especially_ on the days I decide to wear white pants or a skirt. Plenty of my girl friends have told me that birth control can help regulate my hormones, but I’ve always been wary of being on the pill. I’m already twenty-one and well, I haven’t exactly  needed to take it. 

Still, as another wave of agony crashes over me, I know that the only way I can be sure if I’m making the right decision is to go see a damn doctor.

It’s not like I hated going to the doctors, but come on Hospitals aren’t usually anyone’s favorite place to be especially not mine. I was basically raised in one-my mom had been suffering from breast cancer from the time I was 4 years old to when she passed away during the month I turned eight. Everyone was so sure she would beat it. I believed she would too. It crushed me to lose her. It was by far the worst thing to ever happen to me. My mom was so down to earth even when she was suffering. She was a giver, a natural-born caretaker. Before the cancer, she was a nurse-a kickass one from what people have told me. Everybody was devastated to find out she was ill.

She held on for so long. Sometimes I believe she stayed around for so long due to me. To see her one and only baby grow up. Tears flowed down her sunken in cheeks the day before she went away, she held my hand in a tight grip even though I knew it was painful for her to do so. She told me, “ _Be happy, my sweet girl…spread love_.” They pulled me away from her, ushering me into the waiting room where my dad was curled up on a couch. Soft sobs racked his body. My dad…the one always smiling…he never frowned, never yelled, and never cried like a wounded animal. He only ever cried out of joy. To see him that broken destroyed me just as much as the passing of my mother.

My dad was never the same after that day. He kind of checked out.

I don’t talk to him anymore. I moved out right at eighteen, rooming at my best friend Finn’s pad. His girlfriend Rose-who also was best friend- lived with him, so we all split the rent and it made it a thousand times easier to afford to have the ability to be as far away from my dad as possible.

 Plus, it was easy living with Finn and Rose, we were all so close that we could lounge on the couch in our pj’s together, play board games till 1 am in the morning, or go out for a night on the town. I loved them. They were my family now.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I make an appointment with my usual  general practitioner Aka Doctor Jones. She also happened to be my gynecologist so I decided to just get my pap smear done and out of the way. With a loud sigh, I will myself to sleep.

* * *

 

_Clench_

The pain jars me awake, I’m in a cold sweat and can’t help but to double over in pain. Thank fuck I have an appointment in-I check the time- about an hour. I force myself into the shower and by the time I have to leave I’m dressed in a summer dress and sandals so it will be easier to just get rid of my panties, saving myself the embarrassment of having to take pants and socks off.

Upon my arrival at the hospital, I’m able to snag a spot surprisingly close by the grace of the gods. I make my way up to the third floor, walking up to the front desk. The lady shines a mega-watt smile my way I feel blinded for a second by it, shaking my head, I nervously smile back, “Um I have an appointment with Doctor Jones at 9.” I fiddle with the handles of my purse.

“Sure thing honey, can I just see your medical card and ID please?”

“Oh shit, I mean of course.” I blush, hurriedly searching through the mess of my bag until I finally feel my wallet beneath my fingertips. I pull it out with a little shout of victory, the receptionist quirks an amused brow at me. Is it even possible to be this socially awkward!? My brain screams at me.

I hand her what she asked for with downcast eyes, she thanks me, and is typing at light speed. A moment later she’s delivering me gut-wrenching news.

“I’m sorry, but Doctor Jones is actually on vacation right now. We do have another gynecologist that is free at that time if you would like to switch to him just for today.”

The blood drains out of my face, h-him?? No way was I letting a guy look at me _down there…_

“U-um I don’t think I’m comfortable…with having a male...,” my words cut off when my uterus decides to send a punch straight up to my gut, “Well actually that’s fine with me,” I say clutching my side. She gives me a worried look and nods, going back to tapping away.

“Alright darling, no co-pay today and the nurse will call you in just a moment or two.” She beams up at me, sending me a sympathetic look.

“Thank you,” I murmur and take a seat. It’s only about five minutes later when the nurse is escorting me back to a room, but first she takes my weight, height, and blood pressure. Then she leads me into a room.

“Dr. Ren will be in shortly, just make yourself comfortable.” And then I’m alone in the small room, filled with supplies, an exam table with a sheet, a computer, and a chair that I presume is for the doctor. I shuffle over to the table, hopping on it, and let my legs sway back and forth.

About ten minutes later, there’s two precise raps on the door, “May I come in?” A husky voice says slightly muffled by the barrier of the door.

“Y-yes,” I reply. The door opens-my breath hitches and I suddenly feel like orbiting around the earth. I truly believe I’m having an outer-body experience right now, the staggering force shuts the door behind him and I come crashing back down to earth.

He’s flipping through some documents, most likely my information, but it doesn’t matter because I’m too distracted by how massive he is. He must be a head taller than people that are reaching 6 foot. His white doctors’ coat does nothing to hide the wide expanse of his chest or the broad shoulders that seem to be straining against the material that is hugging them. My eyes wander over the black button up shirt that is tucked into his slacks, down to the conspicuous bulge that makes me gulp-my face flaming and my entire body heats. I feel like I’ve just been doused in gasoline and set on fire. I snap my eyes back up to his corded neck- along his strong jaw line- up to those lips that are begging to be kissed. His glasses are perched on the bridge of his nose. Dark eyebrows are arched, giving him an almost menacing look. Wavy raven locks fan around his face, it’s at that moment he runs long, thick fingers through it and sets down the clipboard as well as his glasses.

“So Miss. Kenobi, It says that you have been having irregular periods and would like to know your options on what to do to fix it, is that right?” His voice is so deep-husky- if whiskey had a sound I’m sure it would sound exactly like him. Black eyes are drilling into mine, waiting patiently for an answer.

My voice is floating somewhere else, I’m desperately trying to make it reappear, but the words get caught in my throat. So I give a jerky head nod to make up for my sudden incompetence to speak.

“Have you considered taking birth control? It will help to regulate your periods and it can help control hormone levels as well. I would say it’s your best option.”

“T-then that’s fine with me,” I stutter, ugh I’m an idiot!

“Alright I will write you a three month prescription that you can pick up at the pharmacy once we finish up your pap smear. After the three months are up, all you have to do is return to get a re-fill. You can pick it up at the pharmacy and wait or you also have the option of doing it online.” He was scribbling something down on a notepad, completely oblivious to my rising panic at remembering the other reason why I was here. A drop of sweat trickles down my spine causing me to involuntarily arch away from it. His eyes flick up at the movement, I swear I see his attention linger on my breasts, but before I can investigate he’s already standing up-ripping the scribbled on paper out of its confinement.

“I’m going to give this to the nurse, you can put that gown on, and I’ll be back in just a moment.” I nod and he leaves to go do what he said. I jump to my feet, pacing back and forth trying to control my rapid breathing-it’s no use though he’s way too hot for his own good. He should not be allowed to be a gynecologist with that body and that fucking face! I’m terrified, my fingers tremble as I put the gown on over my dress and pull my lacy panties down to my ankles. Balling them in my fist I lay back on the table that is making me sit up somewhat. My heart is pounding so hard-so fast that I’m worried it’s going to explode.

He knocks again, I tell him to come in, but my voice gives the jig away that I’m nervous beyond belief.

“Are you currently on your period Miss. Kenobi?” He asks like the professional he is.

“U-Um no, but it’s definitely on its way if I’m getting these intense of cramps.”

“Alright, good. Menstrual fluid can sometimes interfere with the accuracy of your results. I’m going to need you to place your feet into the stirrups please.”

I do as he says, my entire body is shaking and I wonder if he can tell. If he does-his dark eyes don’t give even a trace of what he is thinking away. They remain emotionless, as he lubes up some scary plastic tool. I’m about to run when he reassures me, “I know you’re nervous, just do your best to remain calm. This is a speculum, you may feel a bit of a pinch and some pressure, but I’ll do my best to make this go as quick and painless as possible for you so just relax.”

I’m pretty sure the only reason why I’m so nervous is because his large frame is looming in front of me, even when he takes a seat in front of my spread legs he still is intimidating. He has gloves on, placing one on my inner thigh he gently pushes it further open and I have to bite on my lip to hold back a moan.

“I’m going to put the speculum in now, just take deep breaths.” I feel it begin to bridge through my opening, spreading me to a point that was more than painful. I let out a whimper and dark pools snapped up at the sound. His eyes flitted between mine, “Are you okay?”

I scrunch my eyes closed, laying my head back on the table, “Y-yes.”

It pushes a little farther in me, I want to scream especially when it clicks into place so he can make sure nothing is wrong with my cervix. Other women told me that it wouldn’t hurt, but they lied! I almost feel like I’m losing my virginity. I hear him curse under his breath, “Don’t cry, okay, I can stop right now if you need me to,” he says in a soothing tone. I’m crying? What the hell!!

“J-just get it over with please.” I can’t believe I’m crying, but it fucking hurts.

It’s now that I see him suddenly look nervous, his large hands tremble as he tears open the package with the cotton swab. He doesn’t hesitate to considerately brush my cervix to get whatever he needed. He places the cotton swab in a plastic tube and returns to me removing the instrument as carefully as he can. When it’s out of me- I let out a tremulous breath. 

“Miss. Kenobi, I’m going to make sure that your uterus and ovaries are also doing well, I’m going to insert two fingers inside of you and feel for that. It will be quick I promise.”

Are you serious!? He’s going to put his fucking fingers in me!? I must look speechless because his eyes soften, “I promise,” he repeats.

“O-okay,” I whisper and clutch my panties even tighter to my chest. It’s an intoxicating sight to see him lube up two of his fingers, a wetness pools between my legs causing me to clench my thighs together. _No, no, no!_   He’s going to totally know I’m getting hot and bothered over this if he puts his fingers in me, but it’s too late he’s pushing two thick fingers in, they slip inside so easily that I see he’s been taken off guard-it causes him to stumble forward a little, but he catches himself by clasping a large hand onto my thigh causing me to jump. He notices what he’s done, cheekbones are now tinged red, and he removes it hastily pressing it against my abdomen as he checks to make sure everything is normal. His fingers move around a little bit too much, it’s making my thighs quiver and a feeling I can’t even describe is taking over me.

I hadn’t noticed I was panting, my lips are parted as I try to suck in oxygen. His fingers pull out so abruptly-I immediately mourn the loss. I hear the snap of his gloves then the sound of them being thrown into the trash.

“Everything seems to be in working order, we’ll have your results in a few days, feel free to get dressed.” He grabs his glasses and puts them back on his face. “Did you have any questions Miss. Kenobi?”

I’m still spread wide open to him, his eyes dart to the spot between my thighs-his pupils dilate-nostrils flare-I’m mesmerized by the vein that is throbbing in his neck. “N-no…thank you Dr. Ren.” I now grasp onto my morals, removing my feet from the stirrups to place them back in my sandals.

“Have a good day.” He abandons the room with great haste.

As I said Dr. Ren should not be allowed to be a gynecologist.

* * *

 

Kylo

I’ve never claimed to be a good man. I’m 100 percent certain that I have a one way ticket to hell waiting for me when my time comes. I struggle with impulse control, which almost seems to contradict with the fact I’m a doctor. I’m quick to anger, a moody asshole in simple terms and basically the entire staff hates me except for Poe. He’s the top-acclaimed surgeon here and loved by all. Why he chooses to be my friend is beyond me.

I’m locked up in the bathroom right now because I can’t stop thinking about how I’ve never felt anything when doing a fucking pap smear for ten years now. Most of the women that choose me are in their forties, and married- it’s always been mechanical, up until _that girl_ came in throwing my world off its axis with those big hazel eyes-so young-so fucking innocent. I growl slamming my hand against the bathroom wall trying to get myself under control before I have to be in front of my peers once again.

When I close my eyes all I see is her- those brown brows pulling together, lips parted, head thrown back and gasping for air with my fucking fingers lodged inside her tight cunt. My cock had begged me to just take her on the exam table consequences be damned.

 These thoughts were so unprofessional, she was my patient, and the last thing I should be doing is thinking about how wet she was. In the moment I had been so confused, taken aback by how easily they sunk into her, and the way her breath hitched. I didn’t want to believe she was getting off on it, but it was hard to think otherwise when she was basically moaning beneath me.

 She was a tiny thing, I don’t think she even reached my chin when she was standing. She had to crane her neck just to be able to make eye contact with me, so damn pretty I had thought when looking at her flawless complexion, chestnut hair running down to her shoulders in tight little curls. The rise and fall of her small chest made me want to rip that dress off and- FUCK- I need to stop thinking about her. There is no way in hell that I’m going to snatch that girl’s innocence. I’m not going to be selfish for once. I’m thirty-three years old, she’s at the most twenty-two-way too young I tell myself-it doesn’t work very well.

Somehow I gather my composure, emptying all thoughts of her out of my brain as I return to my cold self. No one says hi to me when I pass by them, mostly they just glare or whisper to one another. It’s my fault why they act like this, but I would never admit that to anyone. I get frustrated when people ask me dumb questions and a lot of people do that around here. I snap and tell them to ‘fuck off’ or ‘go find someone who gives a shit to help you’. So you can say that I’m not the best when it comes to playing nice.

“Kyloooooo,” Poe sing-songs as he comes up beside me, shooting me a friendly smile before he goes back to signing a document.

I grunt in response, shoving my hands into my slacks.

“Want to get a beer with me tonight?”

“You have the night off for once? What a shock,” I scoff.

“Just answer the damn question Kylo, I’m not in the mood for your antics.”

“Whatever, I’ll go.”

“Meet you at Gilligan’s Pub at 10 pm sharp.” He waves goodbye, hustling around a corner to answer the call of duty-his beeper going off frantically.

I’m lucky enough to have no further appointments for the day, I change out of my work clothes, into black dickies paired up with my favorite combat boots and black Henley. Grabbing my wallet, phone, and motorcycle helmet I head out of the hospital making my way to my bike. It was a Harley Davidson-A Sportster iron 883 to be specific-all black matching my soul. I straddled the seat, my muscular thighs hugging it tight to me as I kick-started it and headed to the bar deciding to get there early so I could knock back a couple whiskey’s before Poe talked my ear off.

I parked right in front of the bar so I could keep an eye on my bike from the inside. Pulling my helmet off I entered the small building, running a hand over the top of my hair smoothing it down. There was a couple open spots at the bar, I snagged one setting my helmet on the seat beside me to ensure no one sat there.

“What can I get for you Kylo?” Phasma the bartender that rivaled me in height asked, flashing me a warm smile, “Let me guess, honey whiskey on the rocks?”

“You know me well Phasma.” A small chuckle escapes me.

“You’re just predictable Kylo, I’m waiting for the day that you shake things up,” she teases and pours my drink placing it on a coaster in front of me.

“Thanks,” I mumble. There’s a game on, so I mindlessly watch it, glancing at the clock a couple times to see it’s barely 9. I still have an hour to kill so I tell Phasma to keep the whiskey coming. I’m drinking them a little too fast, but I couldn’t give two shits. I’ll sober up before I have to head home.

“Oh my gosh, Finn shut up please, the last thing I want to talk about is earlier. I’m here to forget remember?” Her sweet voice filters through my ears, my body goes rigid as I glance to my left to see her sipping on a fruity concoction. A man and woman are flanking her sides, both have a beer in their hand.

“Come on Rey, you don’t need to be embarrassed, it _was_ the first time a man fingered you,” he laughs and the girl joins in seeming to mock the poor girl.

She groans, “Let’s just change topics okay?” She tilts her head to the side and our eyes connect. Hazel optics widen, she looks absolutely terrified as if she’s a rabbit caught in a trap desperate to escape, but there’s nowhere to go.

“Are you okay Rey? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?” The guy follows her gaze, landing on me. Dark brows knit in confusion, he eyes Rey again and then I see something flash in them and he’s whipping back around to face Rey.

I think he says ‘oh shit’, but I’m not quite sure their voices have lowered significantly and that’s when Poe is slapping my back moving my helmet to sit beside me. Phasma walks up to him already handing him a corona, he winks at her, and turns to face me.

“Thanks for coming to hang with me buddy.”

“How many times have I told you not to call me buddy,” I growl, taking a large chug of my whiskey, loving the burn that accompanies it.

He juts out his lower lip, pouting, “C’mon Kylo, we’re friends, we’ve known each other for ten years now! I think calling you buddy is only natural.”

“Why can’t you just call me Kylo? That is my name if you didn’t know already.”

“You’re such a dick,” he laughs and drains half his beer.

Phasma already has a second beer lined up for him, he thanks her, and she hands me another whiskey I tip my head at her.

“So how’s the divorce coming along?”

I pin him with a look that says **_are you fucking serious?_**

“Don’t look at me like that. I know it’s been messy, I just want to know if you’re doing okay.”

“I’m fine,” I snap finishing my whiskey.

“How many of those have you had?”

“What are you my fucking dad or something?” This is how I am. I lash out at anyone who shows even a morsel that they care about me. I wasn’t meant to be loved, my soon to be ex-wife made sure that was instilled in me. She was spiteful-always telling me how pathetic I was and that I was ugly on the inside and outside-yet she’s the one who married me. It was when she told me she had aborted our kid that I lost it. She never even told me she was pregnant-I remember wanting to throttle her. I yelled and broke things, she demanded a divorce and without hesitation I granted her wish.

“Kylo, I only ask these questions because I care about you. I’ve told you this countless of times and it never gets through that thick skull of yours,” he says through clenched teeth and taps my forehead.

“I’m fine. Relieved,” I confess to appease him.

He nods his head, my attention is now back on Rey. They seem to have changed topics, but it was interesting to hear that she too couldn’t forget our earlier encounter. It didn’t matter though. I was toxic. It was best if I stayed away from her.

Too pure. Too naïve. Too innocent.

I had to stay away.

If I didn’t….

I would end up destroying her.

* * *

 


	2. Let me out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tension rises between Kylo and Rey...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working full time sucks! I still have three more weeks of class too ughhhhhhhhhh! I just want to write lol  
> Anyways I hope you all enjoy and I will do my best to update ASAP!  
> Much love <3

Kylo

“Sweetie, are you alright?” My mom is peering up at me with eyes identical to mine.

I was lost in my thoughts once again. A certain pair of hazel eyes couldn’t stop haunting me.

“I’m fine.” Forking a heaping of spaghetti into my mouth so I don’t have to elaborate on how much I hate myself for even wanting to think about a girl that was a hell of a lot younger than I was. No woman has ever looked at me the way she did- as if I was the only thing keeping her afloat-she confused me. I didn’t like being confused.

 I found out she was only twenty-one. I may have briefly scanned over her file on my way back to dropping it off. Her birthday was there mocking me-telling me that it was wishful thinking for a girl that pretty- that innocent- to even want to have anything to do with me.

I really hoped that I never saw Rey Kenobi again.

“You sure don’t seem fine. I’m your mother Kylo; there are things that I just sense. This is one of those moments that I know this has something to do with a woman. So, why don’t you cut the bullshit and tell me the truth.”

My mom is a tiny woman, barely reaching 5 foot—it didn’t matter because she was still scary as fuck. I was also pissed off with how she always had to interfere in my personal life. I felt like a cat bristling in anger. She constantly nagged me about when I was going to give her a grandchild-I never told her that she could have been a grandma if it hadn’t been for the fact that my demon of an ex-wife aborted our baby. That would have broken my mom’s heart into a billion little pieces and I just wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I had been the cause of that.

“There is no woman ma.”

“I said don’t lie to me boy,” she bit out, waving a finger in my face.

I let out a deep sigh, she would never let this rest, so I decided confessing was my best option, “There was a patient and I may have developed a liking to her, but I would never act on these feelings. She’s a child.”

My mom’s eyes widened and I realized what I had just implied. Oh fuck! “No she’s twenty-one!” My face was heated in shame, as if I would ever have an attraction to a child. Rey was young, but she was old enough to make her own decisions. It didn’t mean that it made me any less of a fucking pervert for wanting to crush that innocence of hers into a billion pieces.

“Gosh Ben, you nearly gave me a damn heart attack!” My mom holds a hand over her heart and continues, “So what if she’s twenty-one, your father is fourteen years older than me. If you like her then that’s that.”

I groan, “Ma she’s _too pure_.”

“I was _too pure_ as well, but your father knew that if he screwed me over, he’d wind up alive buried six feet underneath in a coffin.”

See. She was scary as hell.

“Alright mom, let’s change the subject.”She agreed easily for once. I no doubt got my stubbornness from her.

She went on and on about some cake that she had been desperate to make but never could find the time with my father breathing down her neck about how they need to be spending more time together. My mom was a busy-body, constantly doing something it threw my dad through loops and sometimes it made him extremely lonely. She loved my father, but I guess after more than 30 years of marriage-they were bound to have their differences.

I was on a wave of my own thoughts as my mom rambled on about this and that. My impulse control was ticking back and forth like a metronome. One part of me was saying to fuck the innocent little broad into my bed and the other was telling me to get a grip on myself. The last thing I needed to be doing was jumping back into another relationship that would indefinitely break me all together. That was the thing-I could totally see Rey shattering all the walls I had so carefully built up. It terrified me.

* * *

 

“A sugar donut please,” I say having to lean forward so the lady can hear me. She grabs a paper bag, putting the donut inside, and hands it over to me.

“1.00 please.”

I flip through my wallet and hand her a five. I see there’s a tip jar and tell her to keep the change.

“Um, three maple bars, two chocolate, three sugar…and well you choose the rest,” she says on a nervous laugh. How the hell did I not notice her before? Her big hazel eyes glance over at me only to widen comically on her face. She’s wearing another damn summer dress that stretches across her small breasts a little too perfectly.

“D-Dr. Ren, good to see you again,” she murmurs with downcast eyes. Her cheeks are a rosy color-her hands are trembling ever-so-slightly, that if I hadn’t been watching her so closely I wouldn’t have noticed.

“Miss. Kenobi, I must say as your doctor that twelve donuts might be a bit of an overload on the senses-also might be one intense stomach-ache.”

A beautiful laugh escapes her, “Trust me, if I could eat twelve donuts in one sitting I would, but I’m afraid that I have to share.” She playfully purses her lip pretending to be sad. Much too beautiful for her own fucking good. I remember that I can’t make her like me. She needs to hate me.

“Well, goodbye Miss. Kenobi,” I say, turning away from her before I say something I’ll regret.

“W-Wait Dr. Ren,” she calls after me, hastily paying the clerk and comes up beside me.

“Is something wrong?”

She sounds breathless when she talks, her pulse is fluttering in her neck, “No, I just was wondering if you wanted to grab a cup of coffee with me sometime.”

Her eyes look so hopeful; she’s biting her lip nervously waiting for my response. I stalk closer to her and hear a small gasp escape her.

“Do you have a crush on me Miss. Kenobi?” I taunt her, my voice sounds cruel even to my own ears. She visibly cowers away from the sudden shift in my attitude. I can see her trying to form words, but she’s struggling to find them as if they just vanished into thin air.

“Miss. Kenobi, I’m an adult and you are just a child. Don’t let your head make mountains out of nothing.”

My eyes go back and forth between the tears forming at the corner of her eyes and the way her hands are clenching the pink box so tightly in her grasp. Her pain oozes from every pore-such an expressive face I think as I watch the first tear fall down her face and land on her forearm.

“Good day Dr. Ren,” she whispers and rushes past me not even throwing one last look my way. I deserved to burn in eternal hell for doing that to her, but she needed to understand that I would never be the guy she needed. I was doing this for her own good or I was doing it because I’m a coward and I tend to sabotage any good thing that crosses my path. Ever since I was a kid I’ve never been good at making friends, I was never good at sharing-when a kid tried to play with my car I grabbed it from his little hands and chucked it at his face. His mom was livid- I can still remember my mom and her arguing for what felt like hours. When we left my mom told me that if I didn’t want to share then that’s fine, but you can’t go around hurting people because of it.

I took her advice.

 Kind of.

I still tended to hurt everyone, sometimes because I wanted to and other times were completely unintentional. I’ve just never been good at hiding my temper. I didn’t think I needed to if I’m being completely honest-it’s not like I want to make friends and when I took a chance on a “normal life” by marrying my high school sweetheart I soon came to learn that I would never live up to the expectations of others. My ex wanted me to be there for her constantly, wanted me to bend to every demand, she hated that I wanted to be a doctor and was extremely livid to find out that I was going to become a surgeon/gynecologist. She thought I would cheat on her. I was a fucking professional and I liked being a surgeon way too much to lose it over fucking a patient.

Things were different now that Rey Kenobi was working her way under my skin with our brief encounters. I swore that if I saw her again that I would have to find a way to make my 6’4 self disappear. Working my fingers through my hair I blew out a huff of air and drove to the hospital blasting metal to make me forget about chestnut hair I wanted to see wrapped around my fist.

* * *

 

“Damn Kylo, you’re lifting like twice your weight!” Poe exclaimed as he stretched his arm across his chest.

I grunted in response, continuing to dead lift the 400 pounds. Working out was a major stress reliever for me-that and my left hand. This was the fifth day in a row that I was at the gym lifting weights, running on the treadmill and boxing in the spare room that had a line of bags that most people never used. I wasn’t one to brag about my body, but it wasn’t like I didn’t work my ass off to make sure to keep it in tip-top-shape. Just cause I was getting older did not fucking mean I was going to start getting lazy. Stamina was a thing I treasured and it really helped in the bedroom. That’s one thing my ex spat at me before she left _“I’m going to miss your cock more than I’ll ever miss you.”_ To which I responded “ _It sure as hell won’t miss you.”_

It didn’t exactly matter that I was a decent lay, I wasn’t about to start screwing around just because I could. As much as I wish that I could be a one night stand kind of a guy-it just wasn’t in my nature to be that way.

“Hey are you okay dude? You’re spacing on me,” Poe said waving his hand in front of me.

“Sorry, I have a lot on my mind.”

“Care to share some of your burdens?” He picked up some 60 pound weighs, curling them.

“The divorce was finalized today. I’m officially a free man.”

Poe was smiling like an idiot, placing the weight back down I chugged my entire water bottle and threw it at his chest. A vibrant laugh escaped him, “Oh c’mon Kylo, I’m just so damn happy for you! You’ve always deserved a woman who would love you for who you are and not the version they want you to be. This is a good thing-it means you can _finally_ start dating again. How long has it been since you actually had sex?”

A growl escapes me, I try my best to tamper it down, the words still come out through clenched teeth, “Like a year.”

“Like a year? Jesus Christ, no wonder you’re so uptight all the time. You need someone to help you relieve that tension.”

“I don’t want to fuck anyone.”

Poe scoffs, obviously not believing me, “Give me a break Kylo, you’re only human. It’s okay to want to feel a woman’s soft curves pressed against you. There’s nothing I love more than holding my woman in my arms she’s got the perfect ass -”

“Enough Poe, I don’t need to hear about Patricia and all her lady parts.”

“Fair enough, but really you need to just go find someone and bang them before your head explodes with all the stress I can see so clearly building up on your shoulders. I can’t say you’re entirely free just yet, not until you figure yourself out and what you want out of life.”

“I know what I want out of life. I don’t need you patronizing me or giving me this bullshit that you think is advice,” I bark out like the wild animal I am.

He settles me with a glare that tells me that I’m truly a first class dick. “Whatever, I’ve known you for way too long. This is just you throwing up every form of defense you can because you’re scared to let anyone get too close. You hold onto so much fear because you’re worried that if you call someone a friend or confide in them that they’re going to laugh at you and abandon you. Your fear is only holding you back from all the good things you can experience.”

He’s right. He usually is, but I’m just not in the mood for this-not tonight.

“You’re not my fucking shrink so stop acting like it.” I grab my stuff and push past him not even stopping at the lockers to shower like I normally do. Tonight I just want to get home as soon as possible, drown myself in a bottle of Jameson and forget everything Poe just told me.

* * *

 

Rey

I’ve always done my best to not let hurtful words get to me. I was bullied because of how shy I am and I was never one to stand up to someone. As time wore on, I decided to stop being a stepping stone, it may have gotten me a black eye and a couple scraped knees, but the day I stood up to Janice Tucker ended up being the best thing for me. The mean things she said to me no longer had any effect on me. Plenty of people have said rude things to me and I’ve always brushed it off with a smile.

Not with him though. His words cut much too deep-I swore I felt the dagger go into my heart, I was sure I was bleeding out right there in front of the devil himself.

 _“Do you have a crush on me Miss. Kenobi?”_ His dark eyes roved over my face, voice a combination of whiskey and arsenic. I had never thought the mysterious doctor who was so cordial with me was actually a total asshole! It was so sudden when his entire demeanor changed; his pupils had dilated making it hard to see where his irises even began. Then he had the nerve to call me a child!

I had to grow up faster than most people because of the death of my mother and the loss of my father’s presence in my life. I knew what it was like to go hungry for days on end and what it felt like to wear the same clothes to school because I didn’t know how to do laundry yet. I was the one who taught myself how to cook, clean, drive a car etc.-the list goes on and on. So to call me a fucking child was going too far.

It didn’t help that he was still too handsome for his own damn good. I plop my head down on my pillow my stomach filling with butterflies just at the thought of him. So maybe I did have a crush on him? So what? It didn’t mean that he had to treat me the way he did. His eyes remained cold even when he stared so intensely at the tears that rolled down my face. That gaze was enough to burn me and I needed to run from him so he wouldn’t know how much he had broke me with so little of words.

There was a soft knock at my door, “Come in.”

Finn walked in sitting down in my computer chair, “Hey there, Rose and I were just curious if you were okay? You’ve seemed pretty down since you came back with the doughnuts this morning.”

It always warms my heart with how much Finn and Rose care about me. There’s just no way that life would ever be the same without either one of them in it. They both know how to cheer me up on my worst days and have always supported my dreams in everything I do. Both of them were not shocked to hear that I wanted to be an artist. If there was something I saw that I needed to capture, I would take out my sketch book and draw it. I loved painting, creating beauty with just the flick of my wrist and a paintbrush. I had an entire dresser dedicated to all my art supplies due to how passionate I really was about anything that had to do with drawing, painting, sculpting, and so forth.

Snapping back into the present, I responded, “Well…I ran into Dr. Ren today and it didn’t go too well.” I sit up now, dragging my knees to my chest to rest my chin on them. He’s casting me a worried look and I hate that I put it there.

“What did that prick do?”

A sharp laugh escapes me, “Let’s just say he may have called me a child and told me to not make a mountain out of nothing just because I asked him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee. Who would have thought that immediately makes me have a crush on him…I was so embarrassed Finn. It took everything out of me just to gather the courage to ask him and then he rejected me in the worst way possible.”

Finn is livid as he jumps out of the chair, wrapping me into a hug, “He’s a total dickhole! You are perfect Rey; don’t let anyone ever tell you differently! That fool is not worth your time if he can’t even see how precious you truly are,” he whispers fiercely in my ear, “I’m going to tear him a new asshole if I ever see him again!”

Tears prick at my eyes, but I push them down to where they belong, “Thank you Finn, that means a lot.”

He pulls away to stare down at me, “I mean it Rey that guy is the world’s biggest idiot and I bet you anything he already understands that.”

“I doubt I’m even a dot on his radar, but thank you…”

“Trust me honey, he’s aware of who you are. When I was walking to the bathroom-he was holding onto his glass so tightly I swear he was going to break it. His eyes were fixed on something; they were so intense that it was almost scary. He was looking at you Rey, it’s all an act I’m sure of it. He wants you, but he’s scared. He’s the type who pushes people away-the guy is so easy to read-I was able to figure him out just by seeing the way he acted in the bar. Your doctor obviously has some deep-seated issues that he has yet to come to terms with.”

“Just because he stared at me doesn’t mean anything Finn and if he has such horrible issues it still doesn’t mean it’s okay to take them out on somebody who only wants to get to know you. He made me feel stupid.”

“You’re absolutely right. He shouldn’t have said what did, but you know it’s hard for some people to express their emotions correctly.”

Finn had a point. It still didn’t ease the growing tension in my chest.

“I’m still going to kick his ass when I see him again,” Finn declared. It made us both break out in a fit of giggles. We sat there and talked about things that had nothing to do with Dr. Ren. I found out that Finn and Rose would be gone for two weeks in about a month to celebrate their four year anniversary. Finn had worked countless hours just to ensure that he could make it special for Rose. He was going to take her to Hawaii-the place she had wanted to visit ever since she was just a child. He told me that he had to hold her as she cried and cried for two hours straight when he showed her the tickets. It made me sigh. I wanted a love as special as theirs. Of course I was sad they would be gone for so long. That would mean a lot of painting time, but it would still be lonely without them.

After a couple hours of chatting Finn kissed my forehead and went to bed.

My thoughts wandered for a bit, yet as always they strayed back to a set of eyes like a black hole making me want to spiral into them not caring about the consequences. He may be a cruel man that still didn’t help with the pulsing that was begging to be touched by his capable fingers. I ended up touching myself to the thought of him taking me from behind. I imagined how his brows would pull down into a frown, raven locks matted to his forehead as sweat glistened off his pale skin. He would be raving with need to come and I would allow him to take his pleasure from me however he thought was fit. **_“Do you have a crush on me?_** His words played out inside my head, like the masochist I appeared to suddenly be, I whispered yes into the empty room. I had begun with soft, measured circles on my clit, but I was now frantically chasing my release. Him grabbing the soft flesh of my ass, thrusting into me over and over again to the point that I lost all rationality-on that thought white light flashed before my eyes and I bit my fist to stop myself from screaming out. The last thing I wanted to do was wake up Finn and Rose with my lust-filled cries.

My body relaxed and I fell into a deep slumber.

It was the best sleep I’ve had in ages.

* * *

 

A month passed by much too fast.

I was able to sell multiples paintings for a couple hundred bucks each. It was an amazing feeling to finally be recognized for my art. The owner of a art museum told me he would love to meet up sometime and talk about displaying my pieces in the upcoming art show he was hosting. Of course I immediately said yes and we exchanged phone numbers. It was only a couple days later that he called to tell me the good news that I had snagged a spot in the show. I would be able to display up to fifteen pieces of work. So of course I went straight to work on that, I had about three months to work on my projects and the inspiration had just flowed through me.

One piece of art was my favorite though; it was of dark eyes and a black halo of hair surrounding the sharp angles of his face. His gaze was piercing and the wings that sprouted out of his back made him like Lucifer himself. I hadn’t seen Dr. Ren since that time at the doughnut shop. It was a good thing I told myself, but my body wouldn’t get the memo. Whenever I touched myself it was always his face that played out in my mind. I shook my head to get rid of all thoughts of him and continued to paint the chrysanthemum that had inspired me to keep moving forward.

Rose walked into my room, a sad smile on her face, “Well, we’re heading out love; I’m going to miss you so much.”

 I set my brush down and basically flew over to her swinging my arms around her neck, “I’m going to miss you too Rose. Just promise me you’ll go have the time of your life with no regrets.”

A sweet laugh flitted out of her, “I promise.” Finn walked in and saw us embracing-he wrapped his arms around us both and we all savored the moment of being together. When we all pulled apart we were all smiling.

“I love you both more than words could ever express, have fun.”

“We love you too,” Finn said and we all hugged one last time before they were gone. It was suddenly much too quiet. I had been telling myself I wanted to try out that new gym a couple blocks away, I heard they had boxing bags and it made me remember when I was younger I used to sneak over to my neighbors house. He let me use his boxing bag as much as I wanted to because he sure couldn’t box at age 65 anymore. I hadn’t been able to do the sport in years; it was so much fun and it could help with keeping my mind off the fact Finn and Rose wouldn’t be back for weeks.

I changed into a maroon tank top pairing it up with black leggings. Tying my hair up really quick, I found my gloves in my closet as well as my wraps. Just touching the gloves made me feel excited. I pulled my sneakers on, grabbed my purse and drove down to the gym.

It was easy to sign up, only ten bucks a month, and no contract which was always a plus. I thanked the guy after passing on a tour of the place-all I needed to know was where the boxing room was and the locker rooms. He gave me a warm smile and pointed out where both places were.

I placed my purse in a locker and wrapped my hands with surprising ease. I practically skipped into the room specifically for boxing, when I walked in a wide smile formed on my face at seeing all the bags lined up- then on the one person in particular hitting the bag with so much speed and power that I found it impossible to tear my attention away from him.

His shirt has been discarded off to the side somewhere revealing one of the most defined backs I have ever witnessed in my life. This guy is huge! His traps could rival Tom Hardy’s-the entirety of his upper back was built like a beast. Where most men had the v-figure shape when they had this much muscle to the point they looked like body builders-he was broader-the muscle looked natural on him. There was the most sexy dimples in his lower back-he took me off guard when he threw a deadly kick, his legs swelling with muscle. His form was impeccable-it was crazy to see how balanced and graceful a man of his height was.

Before he witnessed me ogling him like a creep, I pulled my gloves on and began to do the combos I still remembered. It was a thrill to feel the impact rattling up my arms. My vision was homing in on the bag-in that moment it was just us. I was having the time of my life so much that I forgot that there was another person in the room with me. What was the harm in checking him out just once more? I glanced over to see a hard gaze meeting my now shocked one. It couldn’t be…

His strong jaw was clenched, that vein in his neck was throbbing and I let my eyes betray me as I cast them downward to where his pecs were full and defined. He was ripped-the sight was almost unbearable to even look at. The muscles of his six pack abs are contracting as he works to catch his breath. My face flames when I see how much more visible his bulge is in the flimsy material of shorts. They do nothing to hide the impressive outline-it only makes sense that he would be large in every aspect. His midnight hair is sticking out haphazardly adding to the untamed vibe he’s radiating right about now. My eyes trails down the blue veins that are standing out against his pale skin-it is a beautiful sight. I never thought that Dr. Ren would have such a body, it certainly doesn’t help with how much I want to run home and touch myself to this new knowledge.

“You going to stand there eye-fucking me all day?” His gravelly voice made me whip my eyes up to meet his.

I narrowed my eyes at him, “As if I would want to look at you old man.”

A dark glint appeared in his pools of black, a taunting smirk followed. “Old man eh?”

“Aren’t you the one who said you’re an adult and I’m a child? So that must mean that you’re pushing forty right?” I was not going to make this asshole feel like he had any power over me whatsoever.

His powerful legs brought him closer to me within a couple strides, now he loomed over me appearing to be the devil he was. My instinct was to cower-instead I jutted my chin out and placed my hands on my hips to show him I wasn’t about to back down. His smirk deepened.

“I’m only thirty-three, not quite pushing forty just yet.”

“It’s close enough, don’t fool yourself Dr. Ren. I bet what you’re packing downstairs doesn’t even work anymore. I bet Viagra is your best friend.”

A sudden shift in the room causes a tingling sensation to run down my neck to my spine. The cocky smirk falls from his face being replaced with an expression that I wish was not pinpointed on me. The throb of his vein is angry and catches my attention for the hundredth time; it’s easier to stare at that than at the way he’s making me begin to feel like I’m suffocating in his presence.

“You think you’re cute don’t you Rey, I bet plenty of guys have fallen for your act before because they were dying to get inside your pants-to have just the slightest taste of that tight little cunt of yours. It is a pussy a man could die for,” his voice is so low and husky that I feel my legs beginning to give out as he starts to step forward and I step back, “Tell me Rey did you want me to make you come when you were spread out before me? You don’t even have to answer because I already know-I know that your greedy cunt was so wet for me that I didn’t even need the lube. Your walls were fluttering around my fingers, but I couldn’t give you what you wanted because I’m a fucking professional and making the sweet little Rey come on my exam table would have not been appropriate. You should have seen the disappointment on your face when you didn’t get the release your body was begging for. Did you want me to fuck you Rey?”

My brain is reeling at his brutal honesty; I want him to pull the words back into his mouth because he’s turning me on so much that it’s confusing the hell out of me. I shouldn’t like the way he’s talking down to me, but my body is telling me a different story. It’s practically begging me to get on my hands and knees –let this man do whatever he wants with me-no matter how much it hurts or degrades me.

“I-I don’t have a clue of what you’re babbling on about.” My voice is so weak as my back slams up against the wall behind me. I’m officially trapped. He crowds me against the wall, I feel like a wave of electricity is coursing through me-the lust setting every nerve on end. My heart begins a pounding rhythm as he places both his palms on the wall, I’m distracted by his bulging muscles-the vein has become taut and it makes an ache start low in my belly-creeping its way through my veins. His eyes flick to my lips; midnight eyes reflect all the things he would never say out loud.

“I’m sure you know full well what I’m babbling about, don’t fool yourself Rey,” he mocks throwing my words back in my face.

It’s now that I notice he’s calling me Rey, it’s obvious that he saw my name on my file at the office, but the way he was saying it in that lust-filled voice was driving me mad with desire. I never thought my name could sound so good rolling off of someone’s tongue. I settle my shaky breaths, “As I said, Dr. Ren, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” He detects the lie instantly. His nostrils flare; suddenly he fists my ponytail flexing his fingers just a tad. He’s silent as he stares down at me.

I quiver underneath his grasp, he tightens the hold, leaning his face so close to mine I can smell the mint when he rasps out, “I said do you want me to fuck you?” His eyes rove over my face ready to see if I’m telling the truth or not. If I lie he’ll know. If I tell the truth I’m not even sure what will happen and I’m not sure if I want to find out.

His grasp tightens in my hair as he tugs on it making me yelp, “Answer me Rey,” he growls causing a shiver to run down my spine. Goosebumps adorn my skin.

“Who cares what I want.”

His mouth brushes over mine, “I fucking care.”

A small whimper leaves my throat at his confession, “Y-Yes…”

He chuckles darkly, “That’s a good girl. I should reward my pet right?”

“I’m not your pet,” I bite out and try to escape his tight hold on my hair, but it only causes me pain.

“Yes you fucking are. You were since the day I shoved my fingers in you and you almost came around them.” His voice is stern- no nonsense.

“I despise you Dr. Ren.”

“My name is Kylo and the last thing in this world that you feel towards me is hate. You already admitted you want to fuck me, but guess what Rey. It will never happen because you’re just a damn child.”

I hate him, but it doesn’t stop me from silencing his cruel mouth with my own. He remains stock-still, not returning the kiss, when I stop to gage his reaction he looks like he’s about to eat me alive. It makes my back arch on its own accord and my breasts graze his sculpted chest.

“You’re the devil Kylo,” I whisper, feeling the heat that his body is emanating. This whole situation is becoming too much to handle. That’s when his lips are claiming mine in a rough kiss. Oh god. I’m drowning in the overload of my senses as he sucks on my bottom lip, gently nipping at it. All I can do is hold on for dear life as I wrap my arms around his strong neck. I could care less that he’s sweaty; his musky scent only makes me want him even more-so. I pull him closer and surprisingly he lets me. We’re flush against one another, his lips are devouring mine-every swipe of his tongue over mine causes me to spiral deeper into him.

 I’m aware that I’m rotating my hips in search of the hardness between his thighs, when I find it I let out a strangled whimper. I can feel how thick he is through the thin material of my leggings. As I rock against him, he releases a tormented moan-it almost sounds as if it was torn out of him causing him extreme pain. I feel him throbbing against where we’re joined- I’m desperate to know what his cock looks like-what it would feel like inside of me. He’s massive-I’m so curious to find out how he would make it fit.

Our kisses become more desperate, his tongue is dominating mine, making me submit to him-his grasp on my hair has tightened significantly and I’m still moving my hips up and against his cock. He abruptly tears away from me, his sculpted chest is heaving-a ferocious look is cast upon his handsome face. A tic in his jaw gives away how much of an effect I had on him. His large appendage is jutting upwards-holy shit he has to be a good 8 or 9 inches there’s just no way he could be any smaller with the way it seems so uncomfortable trapped by the shorts.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he snaps.

“Like what?” I dumbly say, lust has made me brain dead.

“I can’t fuck you Rey. Even if I want to I can’t. I would break you. You’re too fucking pure.”

“I’m not that pure Kylo! I don’t want to play games with you. I only wanted to get to know you and you made me feel so stupid-so worthless! Just because you can’t let anybody in doesn’t give you the right to treat others like shit. I will let you do whatever you want with my body, whether it be taking me hard and fast from behind or wrapping one of those large hands around my throat as I ride you. You can tie me up, tell me I’m your pet, your good girl…….but I will never let you make me feel like I am the dirt under your shoes.” It feels good to stand up for myself. I do like Kylo’s dominance over me, but I also demand respect. I’m no one’s punching bag.

“Damn it all to hell Rey, don’t say shit like that!”

“It’s the truth!”

He huffs an angry breath, turning from me to go and grab his stuff. He stands before me once again, eyes flitting between mine, “You’ll realize I’m only doing this for your own good.”

“You don’t know what’s good for me Kylo.”

I drink in the subtle movement of his clenched jaw, “I’ll see you around Rey.”

“I’m sure you will.” I cross my arms over my chest and he grits his teeth ripping his gaze from mine to get the hell away from me.

I breathe a sigh of relief when he’s gone………that man………maybe there is more to him than what meets the eye.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who enjoy my stories! It means a lot <3


	3. Jealousy will drive you mad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo are you jealous?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter isn't much, but I still hope you all enjoy it!!  
> Thanks to everyone who has left such kind comments on all of my stories, I appreciate it so much!!!

Kylo

Age 25

I’m fully aware of what I’m about to walk into. The question is how am I going to react? Do I curb stomp him or do I break her neck letting him live so he can have the pleasure of continuing to be the pathetic home-wrecker that he is. My attention is fixated on the knob just waiting for me to open the door to my unfortunate fate. When I had walked into my house, all was unusually quiet. Kylie was normally blasting her music or watching one of her soap operas in the living room-I immediately knew something was off.

My legs moved on their own vocation up the stairs-now here I continued to stand just listening. She sounds like a fucking hyena-the bitch is cheating on me and faking that she is enjoying it. This is all her ploy to make me jealous so I refuse to give her what she so desperately wants. I calm my breathing-doing everything in my power to act unbothered by the whole situation as I opened the door, walking in and closing it behind me. The man is taking the whore doggy style, two sets of eyes stare at me-he’s terrified-she’s smirking.

“Sorry, don’t let me interfere,” I say with cool indifference. I surprise myself with how carefree I sound. The smirk drops off her face and is replaced with an expression that has always made her look pig-faced. She’s ugly on the inside and out. What the hell was I thinking when I asked her to marry me?

The guy is stunned. Big blue eyes darting around the room in what I’m assuming is him trying to find the easiest way to escape without having to go through me.

“Dude, you can fuck her all you like. It’s not like I have sex with her anyways, I’ll be leaving soon just need to grab some stuff.”

A flood of shame tints his cheeks, he casts his eyes off to the side-he’s just a kid.

“How old are you?” I find myself asking.

“You’re really going to ask this question while I’m balls deep in your wife?” He shakes his head and pulls out of her not giving a shit anymore. He yanks his pants on and stands before me. “I’m eighteen and she didn’t tell me she was married.”

“Jesus, eighteen Kylie? He’s just a boy,” I mock her and love how she looks about ready to blow her lid. I turn my gaze back on him, “Next time don’t think with your cock, and find a nice girl who you actually like and not one who will consume your precious little soul. Now get the fuck out of my house before I kick the living shit out of you.”

That lights a fire under his ass-he grabs all his belongings and scrambles out the door.

“You just think you’re so perfect don’t you?” She spits at me.

“You knew what kind of man I was when you married me. Nothing you do will ever hurt me.”

Her eyes turn to slits, “Don’t be so sure about that.”

Who would have thought that she would stoop so low…

* * *

 

 Present

One night, while I’m dreaming, I see dark eyes that match mine and long silky black hair is flowing down a young girls back. When she peers up at me she looks exactly like me, but when I move closer to her I’m able to see that she has flecks of green in her beautiful orbs. Her smile doesn’t match mine, this smile is vibrant- one that could rival the sun-suddenly I’m waking up gasping for breath. I place my hand over my heart trying to steady the pounding rhythm. I’ve broken out in a cold sweat-the dream was so vivid. I knew who the little girl also looked like.

She resembled Rey.

Why the hell am I dreaming about Rey!?

I force myself out of bed, yanking the curtains open I see that it is still dark out-a full moon illuminates the houses next to mine. When I press my forehead to the windowpane, I’m thankful that it is cold. It alleviates the heat that is radiating all over me. I don’t know why I thought about that day when I caught my ex cheating on me, I just never could have imagined the way she made sure to hurt me was to deny me my chance at being a father. She was all sharp edges, she only stayed with me because I was making money and she knew she could have sex with other men. The night that we randomly had sex together after 6 something odd years of me being celibate-only happened because I was intoxicated and I didn’t think anything of it. That night would have given me a child. I couldn’t be happier that her claws were no longer digging into my skin. I understand that I’ll never heal fully from the pain of losing my kid, but seeing that beautiful little girl in my dreams gives me hope that maybe one day…I could be a father.

I’m just so damn stubborn. I’ve never been the guy that needs to get laid at every corner-that’s probably why I’ve only had sex with a few women in my life. I met Kylie when I was 17, but I had lost my virginity when I was sixteen to a girl that was probably the shyest girl at my school. She was so fragile and when she took off her clothes she was rail thin. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t pretty, but I liked a girl with a bit more curves. The poor girl was shaking like a leaf, I was already 6 foot something at that age and 180 pounds of pure muscle so I could understand why she was nervous, but she was the one who had propositioned me. She didn’t seem so sure about doing anything with me until I gently touched her. When she was underneath me, I was almost worried I’d break the girl. She was responsive and looked at me with eyes full of adoration. Sometimes when I think of her…I wonder why she killed herself only a day after we did that together. There were rumors she was anorexic, I also heard that she was being molested by her own fucking father. It killed me to think that I did absolutely nothing to help her, but the way she touched my face after I reached release was so soothing. I ended up digging my face into her neck, relishing in the softness of her skin-I told her she was beautiful and she deserved much better than me. She didn’t believe me. She thought I was perfect. When she snuck out of my house that night, I told her that I wouldn’t mind seeing her again-she only smiled and then she was just gone. Forever.

I’ve visited her grave a couple times over the years. She must have been so lonely-no flowers were ever placed beside her tombstone except for the ones I left. Daisies.

Rey infiltrated my mind and instead of being angry about it-I allowed it to calm me from these sad thoughts.

* * *

 

“What could I get started for you gentleman?” The waitress asked Poe and I.

She eyed me a couple times seeing my brooding stare, instantly she turned her attention towards Poe and I saw relief flash across her features to see the kind smile on Poe’s face.

“I would love a corona please and I’m positive my friend would like a Honey Jack on the rocks, right buddy?” I could see him trying not to laugh, instead of knocking him upside the head I just nodded.

“Great, I’ll be right back with your drinks!”

When she was gone, I pinned Poe with an irritated expression.

“Oh come on Kylo, that is the drink you order every time we go to a bar or restaurant. You’re just mad because I ordered for you. I know all about you and your control issues, but for some reason you lack impulse control. It’s very contradictory my friend.” He waves his finger in my face, I swat at it getting a laugh out of him. That’s Poe for you-always testing my patience. He likes to see how far he can push me until I snap and wind up putting him in a chokehold.

“I’m more pissed off that you called me buddy. I fucking hate that word.”

“Lighten up Kylo, we’re here because we’re celebrating actually getting some damn time off for once in fourteen years. Everything has been constant ever since medical school, late nights, endless hours in the hospital, but now we can relax. We have a whole month, so let’s live it up while we can.”

“I just don’t get how they are able to give us a whole month off. It makes me feel fucking useless.”

He lets out an exasperated sigh, “Kylo, there are plenty of capable doctors to take our place during our absence. Trust me the hospital will not fall apart without our presence.”

It was at that moment the waitress dropped off our drinks and took our food order. Poe went with the steak-I decided to eat somewhat healthy opting for the chicken breast and veggies on the side.

I took a long pull of my whiskey-so damn good.

A sweet laugh made me look at where it was coming from, my body went rigid when I saw that Rey was only a couple tables away from us-across the table from her was a blonde haired man, he was talking animatedly and whatever he was babbling on about was making that glorious laugh escape from that pretty mouth of hers.

The dude was my complete opposite. Where his blonde hair was cropped short, mine was dark with a mind of its own as it fanned around my face reaching past my jaw. The guy obviously spent a vast amount of time outdoors with how tan his skin was. My skin was pale, if I tried to tan I instantly burned and looking like a lobster was never my finest moment. She was gazing into his blue eyes, clear and able to see where the iris ended and pupil began. Mine were pitch black, in the right light they looked lighter, but 99 percent of the time they matched my mood. He wasn’t as fit as I was-that was probably the only thing I had on the kid. His shirt didn’t hug his biceps it hung off of them, he was almost scrawny, but he seemed like a decent guy. Better than I would ever be.

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach, seeing Rey so vibrant and happy was a painful sight because it was something I would never be able to do for her. I would forever be the brooding asshole.

“You okay Kylo?” I tore my eyes away from the happy couple and saw the smile on Poe’s face drastically fall. His brows knitted together-he looked so worried. What the hell did my face look like? A wounded puppy or some shit?

“Yes.” I knocked back the rest of the drink and got lucky when the waitress brought our food.

“Would you like another whiskey sir?” I swore I could see the girl’s heart pounding outside of her chest, she seemed so scared of me. I guess I was a fucking monster.

“Please, would you be a doll and keep them coming?” My voice was smooth, almost seductive. It was the tone I used to try to make a woman realize she had nothing to fear just because a permanent scowl was embedded on my face. It worked because now she was beaming down at me with a giant smile on her face.

“Of course sir, enjoy your meal.” She ran off to get my drink and I dove into my food to ignore my racing thoughts.

“Kylo, what’s wrong?”

“Just eat your food Poe, I’m fine. I promise.” I forced a smile, but he saw through it. He just shook his head in disappointment.

The waitress brought me drink after drink, she was definitely getting a good tip. She didn’t look at me like I should stop-just a sweet smile cast my way every time she placed it on our table. Poe told me about his son and how he was up and walking around now.

“He’s a troublemaker! He has the ability to climb out of his crib and I just don’t get how the hell he does it when he’s only 9 months old!”

We’re both laughing when a voice interrupts, “U-um Dr. Ren?”

My attention snaps up to hers, she is giving me a shy smile, her fingers twiddling with her purse strap. The dress she is wearing has a floral design all over it, her golden shoulders are revealed to my gaze-my fingers twitch aching to touch her just to see how soft the skin is there. She’s wearing heels, emphasizing the toned muscle of her calves. The blonde guy is standing right beside her with an arm wrapped around her shoulders.

My temper is desperate to lash out, instead I tamp it down and respond to her in a tone that hopefully doesn’t give away my true feelings, “Miss. Kenobi, how are you?” Don’t you remember when I said dirty things in your ear and shoved my tongue down your throat? Luckily that part didn’t make it past my lips.

“I’ve been good, I just thought I would stop by and say hi.”

“You two a thing?” I notice her visibly wince, the guy takes his arm off of her and reaches out to shake my hand, “I’m Todd, Rey and I are dating at the moment, but I do hope that we’ll be a “thing” soon.”

Poe is staring at me with a look that says do not do what you’re about to do. He’s always been able to read me like a book-probably the only one who can tell when I’m about to act all alpha male. Smirking at him, I turn my attention back to Todd-stand to my full height and revel in the way his stupid smile falls off his face. Clasping his hand in mine, I shoot him a toothy grin that probably makes me look like the wolf about to slaughter the lamb. He’s craning his neck to peer up at me-sky blue optics gaze at me with fear. Now that he’s in front of me, he is hell of a lot shorter than I thought he was-only a couple inches taller than Rey at best.

His grip is weak in mine, I let go of his hand and he drops his arm back to his side instead of wrapping it around Rey. That’s what I thought you fucking prick. Ignoring him completely now, I flicked my eyes down at Rey to see her pretty brows knitted and a frown tugging on the corner of her lips.

“Goodbye Dr. Ren,” she snaps and grabs Todd’s wrist pulling him towards the door of the restaurant.

“Wipe that arrogant smirk off your fucking face Kylo.” My gaze drops to his. He’s clearly upset, but I have no idea why. I sit back down, tossing back the rest of my drink. “So are you going to tell me what that pissing contest was about?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look at any woman that way. Who the hell is she?”

“She was a patient of mine,” I disclose knowing full well I’m about to get an onslaught of questions right about now.

“Patient?” He ponders that for a moment, “Why would your patient come say hi to you? Weren’t you looking at her, you know…” He gestures toward his own anatomy.

“I’m pretty sure she didn’t have a cock Poe.”

He covers his hands over his ears, “Jesus Christ Kylo, did you really have to say that??”

“You’re such a fucking prude Poe; anyways it’s not as if I understand why she felt the need to say hi to me either.” Liar my mind hisses and I have to shake it away.

Poe’s eyes are narrowing at me, “What did you do Kylo?”

“I didn’t do fucking anything.” My voice comes out in a sharp growl it makes Poe flinch, I soften my tone, “Poe, I don’t want to talk about it…”

“She looks pretty young.”

“She is.”

He leans back in his chair crossing his arms over his chest, cocking his head to the side, “So, you have an interest in her or something?”

“I thought I said I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“I don’t give a shit if you don’t want to talk about it, you’re going to because I’m your best friend and as much as you hate to admit it, you know that’s a fact. So just tell me what the hell is going on between you and that girl.”

It’s been almost 10 years since I first met Poe and not once have I ever considered that he thought of me as a best friend. We hung out with each other outside of work more often than not. We constantly exchanged insults back and forth, but all in all I did enjoy his company. If he wasn’t my friend then I would probably be a hermit. Inhaling a large breath of air, I exhaled it shakily.

“She went to my office for a pap smear, she was staring at me like I was a fucking god Poe. Big eyes just holding onto my every word, darting all over my features. I haven’t been looked at like that in who knows how long. She made me feel wanted. Then I had to start doing all that professional talk-when I had to make sure the insides were doing fine, my fingers slid so easily into her that I almost lost it and took her right then and there,” I’m utterly humiliated by this confession, but it’s been torturing me and I can only hope that Poe isn’t thinking I’m a sick fuck-when I chance a glance at him, he’s listening intently, no judgment is obvious so I continue, “She was wet because of me, panting when I had to move them to feel for anything unusual-if I had touched her where she wanted me she would have came right there on that table. Then she’s suddenly at my gym, staring at me like she wouldn’t mind if I had my way with her. She was a stubborn little thing, so fiery-I couldn’t help myself I kissed her and insulted her right after. I’m seriously fucked in the head Poe she’s only twenty-one.”

The shame heats my blood, my face is on fire-I want to douse myself in a tub of ice so I can feel the sting and cold at the same time.

“Who the hell cares if she’s only twenty-one! If she makes you feel like this, then what the hell is the problem with dating her, seeing where it can take you. You don’t have to rush into anything, but to just completely ignore it all together is just you being a stubborn idiot.”

“You’re right as usual.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

I can only nod. He changes the subject, but I zone out thinking about what the hell am I going to do the next time I see Rey.

* * *

 

Rey

Todd is kissing me. It’s slimy and feels nothing like the kiss I had with Kylo. Great, now I’m thinking about that situation when Todd is clumsily shoving his tongue into my mouth it feels like a wet fish. It’s gross. I pull away, “Todd, you’re a nice guy, but I just don’t think we should go on dating. I’m sorry.”

It’s like a switch turns off in Todd’s head, his face contorts into one of cruel intentions-the smirk on his face gives me the creeps causing a shiver to run down my spine-totally unlike the shivers that Kylo makes me feel. Todd grabs my wrist, wrenching my arm in a direction it was not made to go in. I cry out and hold back my tears as best as I can.

“You’re nothing but a whore Rey, I saw the way you were staring at that tall fuck-I bet you would love for him to shove his dick into you, isn’t that the truth hmm?” He’s pulling me towards him skimming his hand up my thigh-I bite my lip to suppress the whimper. “I said tell me you little bitch!” He yells in my face, his spit landing on my lip. It makes me want to puke.

“Yes I do! I would love for him to shove his long fat cock inside me, at least I would actually feel him inside me unlike you who’s penis is probably the size of his pinky!” I’m egging him on and at this point I don’t care what he does to me. I’m not giving him the satisfaction of me cowering beneath him, I will kick, bite, scratch, and say things he’ll most likely hurt me for. That’s when I feel his knuckles connect with my cheek, flashing lights are bursting behind my eyes, and I’m aware that I’ve fallen to my hands and knees due to the force of the blow.

“Yeah you would be his little slut wouldn’t you? Let him take any hole he wants?”

“Of course I would!” I’m laughing, sounding crazy to my own ears. It’s a maniacal laugh meant to taunt. He kicks me in the stomach and all the air flies out of me making me gasp for oxygen.

“He’s just a fucking savage animal, he would tear you apart,” he snarls.

“And I would love every minute of it,” I whisper ready to take the next hit, but it never comes. Todd is being lifted off his feet.

“Kylo, don’t kill the kid!” Poe shouts running over to me, “Are you hurt?” He gently touches my bruised cheek, I wince, “Sorry, it looks like minor bruising, we can take you to the hospital.”

“N-no please no.”

 Kylo is still holding Todd up by the front of his shirt with one hand, I can see the adrenaline coursing through his veins causing the pulse in his neck to beat a maddening rhythm.

“So you get off on knocking girls around eh?” Kylo viciously snaps. Sharp brows pulled down causing him to look like the wild animal that Todd accused him of being. Black eyes full of rage, teeth bared to the point I could see that he had two sharp canines. Maybe he was part wolf.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry it was a mistake!” Todd cried. Kylo growled and tossed Todd to the ground causing him to land hard on his back. Kylo’s fist clenched and before I could blink he had thrown a solid punch through Todd’s jaw knocking him the hell out.

“Take care of that kid Poe, I’ll get her medical attention.”

“Really Kylo I’m-” Pools of  barely restrained anger made me shut up right away. I followed him to his truck, I was surprised it wasn’t something more fancy. He opened the door, helping me inside. Once he was in the driver’s seat, he revved the truck and we began driving to wherever he was going to take me.

“Kylo, where are we going?”

“My place. I’m going to check out your ribs, you keep clutching them so I’m assuming the fuck kicked you.” His words were filled with venom, he looked like he was bristling, barely holding onto the one string before he lost his cool. I didn’t respond, instead I drank him all in. The way his blue jeans held tight to his muscular thighs, dragging up to the slight bulge that made me begin to feel hot all over-the black shirt hugging his broad torso, stretching over the wide expanse of his chest and biceps where veins were standing out against the solid muscle. I can remember wrapping my arms around that strong neck and how I wanted to stay that like that forever. That time also makes me think about how I grinded on him with reckless abandon. My body heats and I fumble with the end of my dress.

The tension in the car is almost unbearable, but thankfully we arrive at his quaint place moments later. It’s a one story, nothing too extravagant. He pulls into his garage, putting the truck in park. He hesitates, clutching onto the stick shift. It only suffices to make me even more nervous than I already am. With sudden haste he’s getting out of the car and I follow. We walk into his house, my heart thumping at a unsteady pace-he turns on a light and I see we're in his kitchen. It’s simple with white walls and marble countertops. He opens his freezer, grabbing an ice pack which he wraps in a paper towel and walks up to me. I place my palms back on the counter behind me, I study him to see what he does next. With a certain tenderness, he presses it against my cheek-I hiss at the sting, he mumbles a sorry.

“Hold that there for me, I’m going to check your ribs and make sure nothing is broken.”

“O-okay.”

“Can I lift your shirt up?” He’s talking in that professional doctor tone-it still turns me on for some damn reason. I nod and continue to firmly press the ice pack against my swollen cheek. His fingertips scrape lightly on the skin of my stomach, it takes complete will-power to not moan at the contact. He gently probes at my ribs, it hurts a bit, but not enough for anything to be broken. “Looks like you’re a bit bruised up, no broken bones.” He drops my shirt striding over to where a bottle of whiskey sat. He unscrewed the cap, grabbing a small glass from the cupboard-pouring himself a hefty amount before knocking it all back. Pretty impressive.

“I can get an uber. I really appreciate you helping me out Kylo…you saved my life.”

“I only did what was right. You can stay if you want. I can take you home in a little bit, just let me chill the fuck out first.”

“What you did was really brave,” I whisper clutching tighter to the counter.

He peers over his shoulder at me, “As I said I did what I had to. I just don’t understand why you went out with that piece of scum in the first place.”

“He seemed nice until I told him I didn’t want to be with him. He showed his true colors after being rejected.”

He poured himself another glass, turning to face me, “There’s a reason why he punched you. What did you say to make him so mad?” He takes a sip of his drink, it makes me want to kiss him. I blush at the memory of what I had said. The words were vulgar and way too embarrassing to admit to Kylo, but he’s looking at me in a no-nonsense way. So I pull my big girl pants on and tell him the truth.

“ I told him I would love for you to shove your long, fat, cock inside me, at least I would actually feel you inside me unlike him who’s penis is probably the size of his pinky…”

I watched in awe as desire and hunger glowed in his dark eyes. Electricity sparked between us-alive and powerful, but he chose to break the connection-tipping his head back, the thick cords in his neck straining; his Adams apple bobbing as he drank the harsh liquor in one fluid motion. He slammed the glass down on the counter, pinning me with predatory eyes.

“That’s what you told him?”

“Yes…”

“You don’t even know what my cock looks like,” he says with a husky drawl, a lopsided grin forming on his beautiful countenance. He even has the audacity to palm himself over the material of his jeans.

“Nor do I want to,” I hiss, not appreciating how cocky he can get.

“Oh so what you told Mr. Pathetic was just a lie right?”

“I was antagonizing him, so yes it was just a lie.”

“Whatever you say Rey, I’ll call you a cab. I’m too buzzed to drive.” He walks out of the room, coming back a short time later, “Cabs on its way.”

“Thanks.” There’s an awkward silence that replaces the sexual tension between us.

It feels like no time has passed at all, but a horn sounds outside startling me, “Time to go,” he says bluntly and walks me out to the cab opening the door for me. There is nothing more spoken between us. The cab pulls away from his house, but he remains standing outside with his hands shoved into his pockets watching me go. When he’s out of sight, I turn and sink into the seat. He was right, I _did_ want to know what he was packing underneath the layer of his pants, but I couldn’t just give into him. He had rescued me, but Kylo hasn't even the slightest inkling on how to put his guard down. Red flags are all around him…I still really want to pull his pants down and take him in my mouth though.

This blows.

* * *

 

“We’re home!!” Finn and Rose both shout walking into the kitchen. I run up to them and wrap my arms around their necks pulling them close.

“I’ve missed you both so damn much!”

They hug me tighter and we all stand there like a couple of love sick dummies. That night they tell me everything that happened in Hawaii, from going horseback riding, to swimming in the bluest ocean they had ever seen-how they went to a surfing competition and watched the skilled athletes ride massive waves. They swam with dolphins and did practically everything Hawaii had to offer. They were exhausted and I told them to go get sleep.

That night I lay in my bed and was thrown into a dream where dark eyes peered down at me. A large calloused palm skimmed up my neck to where they clutched my skin forcing my mouth open to allow their tongue to delve inside. It was an intoxicating kiss that made me dizzy to the point I had to clutch onto the taut skin of their biceps. His hand crept down my stomach, _“Show me where you need my touch little girl,”_ he rasps beside my ear making me moan and I shove his hand down into my panties. When he feels how wet I am, he growls, _“So fucking wet, you gonna come for daddy?”_ D-daddy? Why does it turn me on when he says that to me? He thrusts his fingers in and out of me at an alarming pace that has me already so close to release.

 _“You’re going to come for me when I say so, you got it baby?”_ I can only whimper in response. All of a sudden I’m torn out of the dream, my eyes flashing open to see only darkness. I can hear an owl hooting in the distance as well as the sound of my heart pounding as loud as a snare drum.

What the hell was that about?? And why had I been so into him saying what he did?

Whatever was happening between Kylo and I…I knew full well that eventually it would reach its boiling point…I just didn’t know if either one of us would be prepared for that.

* * *

 


	4. Who's your daddy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get a chance to edit this so hopefully it isn't horrible!  
> The end of this chapter cuts off abruptly but in the next chapter will immediately start from that point!  
> Thanks for reading! Much love <3

Kylo

“You’re not looking too hot Kylo,” Phasma says as she hands me over my second glass of whiskey.

Glowering at her I snatch the glass and drain it in one go. She stares at me with an annoyed expression, responding in kind to my childish action, “Good job old man, now are you going to cut the shit and tell me what’s wrong or are you going to show me that you can still party with the best of them?”

“Just bring me another whiskey, you are the bartender right?” That was a dick move, I can see the way her brow furrows in anger, teeth clenching -she stands straighter emphasizing her height which is either taller than me or the same height. It’s not something I really want to find out to be honest.

“You know what Kylo, as _your bartender_ , I don’t think you should have another drink you seem kind of intoxicated.” Well, she got me there even though we both know I’m nowhere near drunk-hell I’m not even close to being buzzed. If I want any more drinks tonight then I’m going to have to push down my pride and apologize. Plus, Phasma has always been kind to me; I have no right to be a complete asshole to her.

“Phasma, I’m sorry. I just have a lot going on in my mind and it’s been driving me kind of crazy. My temper is more on edge lately.” The words felt like pins and needles leaving my mouth-to be so open to someone about my feelings has always been difficult for me.

Her face softens at my comment, “You can be quite the douche-bag Kylo, but I’ve always had a soft spot for you.” She pulls out my favorite honey jack whiskey, pouring me a glass, “On the house.” A smile tugs on the corner of my mouth, “Thanks Phasma.”

She grabs a rag, beginning to clean the bar. “So tell me, who is the girl?”

Rey my brain whispers. I hadn’t seen her for months; she seemed to fall off the face of the earth. The last time I saw her was when she was begging me with her eyes to just make a move even though her mouth was saying otherwise, but I was a coward plain and simple. There was no doubt I had already lost my chance with her. Any sensible man would have immediately told her how much they wanted to be with her just by seeing that shy smile aimed up at them.

“There is no girl,” I lie, draining the glass in my hands just as quickly as I did the other.

“Whatever you say, so why are you drinking yourself into a coma at 2 pm in the afternoon, can you at least answer that?”

“My mom wants me to go with her to an art show today, it just so happens to be down the street, so I took a cab here and then I shall walk my drunken ass on over there.”

“Not a big fan of art I presume?”

“Not a big fan of being surrounded by a bunch of people I don’t know.”

She pours me another glass, “I can get behind you on that one. Crowds are just not my thing. Being a bartender at a small little bar that nobody really knows about is just fine with me.”

“I still don’t get how this place is still open.”

“We don’t ask questions around these parts, better to leave it unsaid,” she laughs and runs fingers through her short blonde hair messing it up.

We continue to talk and I’m able to drink three more whiskeys. When I stand, I can’t help but to chuckle at how drunk I was. I wasn’t seeing two of anything thankfully, but I was definitely giddy which was totally unlike me. My mom was going to instantly know I was drunk. I say my goodbye to Phasma, she wishes me luck-thanking her I exit the bar and head down the couple blocks to where the art show is being held. I walk into the building, seeing that there’s tons of paintings of all sorts hanging in separate sections to show that it belongs to one artist. My mom told me that they would be able to show off up to fifteen pieces of art and I guess every single one of them took it quite seriously. There’s a painting of a dragon, it’s like I can see every scale on it. I’m without a doubt fucked up right now if I’m this into how the dragon has practically been brought to life-circling around me in menacing way. I hold back the giggle that wants to escape me.

I feel a tap on my spine, jolting around to look down to see my mother, “You’re drunk Kylo.” She places her hands on her hips cocking her head to the side.

“Maybe I am or maybe I’m not. You may never know ma.” I tap her on the nose, she bats my hand away.

“You’re my son and you my dear are intoxicated.”

“I am thirty-three ma.”

“Still my baby, now let’s go look at these amazing pieces of art.”

She hooks her arm into mine; I’m able to still fit my hands in my pockets while she does so. We stop at a booth; it has a bunch of sketches of a mind that has a very dark spot. My mom thinks they are amazing even though they are quite horrifying with the clowns and psychopaths with knives. A girl dressed in all black is chewing on her gum noisily just staring at me with dead eyes. I tug my mom to another booth trying to escape the creepy girl.

That’s when I’m suddenly face to face with myself. Dark eyes stare back at me, they look so tortured, and it makes my heart do a 360 in my chest. Black hair is cast around my pale face that has been drawn in superior detail. The sharp lines of my jaw, the crease between my eyebrows that makes me look like I have a permanent scowl, every mole, every pore is staring me down.

“Is that you Kylo?” My mom says with awe in her voice.

“Yes,” I whisper and look over to see Rey talking to the two people that were at the bar with her so long ago. It feels like everyone just disappears and all I can see is her, shining so bright that it lights up the dark that has been surrounding me for so long. Her hair is in magnificent curls down to her slender shoulders that are bare-still golden as ever-but this time her dress hugs every curve on her body making me want to move over to her just to feel those red lips against mine once again.

“So that girl must be Rey, I have to say that she is quite the beauty.” My mom’s voice pulls me out of my trance.

“I have to go,” I frantically say and try to pull out of my mom’s grasp.

“No son of mine is going to continue to live his life being a damn coward, now you grow a pair and go talk to her,” she snarls, putting me in my place just like she always has since I was a child.

“I can’t, please I have to go.”

It’s too late though because I hear her sweet voice right behind me now, “Dr. Ren?”

My mom pins me with a look that says, ‘you better talk to her right now or I’ll chop your-you-know-what off.’

Turning around, I stare down at the girl that has been tormenting my dreams for much too long now-fuck she’s way too pretty.

“Miss. Kenobi, how have you been?” My voice is surprisingly calm; even though I’m still feeling buzzed I manage to come off not looking like a complete fool.

That shy smile appears on her face, her cheeks are tinged pink, “I’ve been really great…I was able to showcase some of my work finally so I’m happy about that.”

“Is that supposed to be me?” I nod at the portrait that looks exactly like me.

She bites her lip, that blush deepening, “Um yeah, I didn’t think you would be here…”

Her honesty has always been so fucking endearing-it only makes me like her even more.

“I didn’t realize I looked so scary.”

A sweet laugh leaves her, “You’re only scary until one realizes that you’re nothing but a big ol’ teddy bear underneath all that brooding. Don’t worry Kylo I can keep a secret.” She drops calling me Dr. Ren-I prefer when she calls me Kylo if were being completely truthful.

“I’m no teddy bear Rey.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m Kylo’s mother,” my mom says pushing me aside. Rey’s eyes widen a little as if she’s now nervous because she was flirting with me right in front of my mother. I smirk at her. She regains her composure and smiles at my mom.

“I’m Rey, a friend of your son.”

“We both know that you’re much more than just a friend.” That’s my mother for you-blunt as always.

“W-well, I don’t think your son likes me much, right Kylo?” She peers up at me, eyelashes fluttering dramatically before she pins me with a smirk of her own.

“He’s a big dummy who doesn’t know how to go after what he wants. He’s been stubborn since birth, I just assumed he’d grow out of it, but it only gets worse with time. Please save my son,” my mom pleads in a teasing manner. Embarrassment washes over me; I shove my hands deeper into my pockets.

“Mom can you please stop.”

“Oh now he’s getting assertive with ‘mom’, he usually calls me ma, sometimes he even says mama. It’s so precious!”

Rey is laughing so hard tears are building up in the corners of her eyes, I may be getting crucified, but it’s worth it to see how happy Rey is. I wish I could make her laugh like this. This is why I think she deserves a guy much better than me. I’m always going to have a temper and be a brooding fuckhead for the rest of my life.

“I can’t imagine him saying that,” Rey says through her giggling.

“He may be a stubborn ass, but he’s got a heart of gold, just have to put him in his place from time to time.”

“Alright enough of this humiliation,” I sigh.

“I was actually going to head out Kylo, you two have fun.” Devil woman. She winks at me and is gone in the next moment.

“I like her, she’s got sass,” Rey says while wiping a tear away from her eye.

“Don’t tell her that, she’s already bad enough.”

Another giggle escapes her; it makes me clench my hands into fists because I had made her emit that sound. Here goes nothing, “How about that coffee?”

The smile vanishes off her face, “I don’t think that’s a good idea Kylo.”

It’s like a spear has been thrown into my chest- I’m gasping for air but my lungs only fill with blood. This is what I deserve, I shouldn’t be so surprised at how the way this winded up going.

“I understand,” I manage to say, without another word I begin to make my way towards the door-fingers clutch at my forearm. I’m rendered motionless as I gaze down at her.

“I mean, come on you rejected me twice and now here you are so much time later suddenly wanting to go out with me. I just don’t understand. You’re confusing me.”

All the emotions that have been keeping me captive suddenly unleash and I end up confessing my inner turmoil, “Just because I haven’t seen you for months does not mean you haven’t consumed almost every thought inside my head. I dream about you so often that I almost think that you’re there-beside me -letting me touch you-letting me have my way with you whenever the mood arises. I’m an idiot Rey and on top of that I’m a coward who is terrified to let people get close to me because I’m scared that they’ll grow to hate me. I couldn’t take it if you ever grew to despise me Rey.”

“I don’t think I could ever hate you Kylo…just give me a chance please.”

“I should be the one asking you to give me a chance.”

“What are we doing Kylo? We’re just playing unnecessary games; we both know we’re too old to be doing that- so let’s give this a shot, what do you say?”

That hopeful look is on her face once again, this time around I can’t deny her though, “Why not.”

“Pick me up for dinner tomorrow at 6 pm, got it?”

Normally I wouldn’t allow to be told what to do, it made me want to spank her perky ass, but I pushed those thoughts down, sliding my hand over the side of her neck instead to cup her nape, closing the distance between. Longing hazel orbs gazed up at me, I couldn’t help myself I kissed her right then and there in that art gallery. It’s a chaste kiss, but it’s filled with a whirl of emotions that spirals around the two of us.

When we pull away, we both stand there staring at one another not quite sure what the hell is about to happen between us.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Rey.”

“I’ll see you then,” she whispers. I place another kiss on her forehead, leaving before I decide to do much more than just kiss her.

* * *

 

It was out of pure unadulterated lust that I ended up shoving my hand down my pants to wrap around my hardening length when I woke from a dream about Rey begging me to take her harder and faster. No woman had ever made me want her this badly-it was driving me insane. I don’t know how long I could go without feeling Rey pressed firmly up against my body. Fuck! I tugged harder on my cock, shuddering at how amazing it felt, but all I really wanted to do was pin Rey down and have my way with her. That thought drove me closer and closer to climax. Hazel eyes, pouty lips-that crease in her brows when she’s annoyed-every single thing about her drove me crazy in the best way possible. That day in the gym where she grinded up against me is what causes me to release with a growl.

I’m panting so hard I feel like I just ran a mile. After cleaning myself off I plop back on my bed, trying to vanquish her from my thoughts-it was only wishful thinking. In reality I would never ever be able to banish Rey out of my mind. She was becoming embedded under my skin, making my veins run with unfamiliar warmth. I knew that if we did have sex that it would set in motion a tidal wave of emotions-no way of ever going back to the way things were.

I was scared- scared that I would fall madly in love with Rey. It wasn’t even a far stretch in my mind because Rey was everything I needed to keep me grounded. She would be able to understand my needs, but also have the guts to stand up to me when she knew I was being a grumpy douche-bag. Her smart mouth and sass were qualities I had always avoided when it came to being with a woman-now it was all I want, but it’s obviously because Rey is a goddess. Still, it terrified me to think about her rejecting me-that would just break my fucking dumbass heart.

She obviously wants to see if were compatible together, but I was worried that she would see me for what I really am-an unlovable man that has way too many scars on the inside. It didn’t seem plausible for a woman like her that had so much life ahead of her to fall for a guy like me. I was already almost in my mid-thirties-I would be forty and she wouldn’t even be thirty yet. This age difference always made me see things in a different light. She would realize one day that she regretted ever agreeing to date an old fuck like me-what would happen to me then?

This is just your anxiety talking I tell myself, taking deep breaths in and exhaling trying to calm my racing thoughts. If I never even tried to see what could happen between Rey and me then I would regret it in the end as well. I’d rather have a broken heart than nothing at all. I forced myself to fall back asleep-my mind finally at ease.

* * *

 

I was a little more than nervous when I arrived at the address Rey sent me, but I forced my feet up the stairs that led to her apartment. With a trembling fist I knocked on her door, waiting patiently for her to answer it. Instead of Rey, a girl smaller than Rey was standing before me, she flashed me a smile, “You must be Kylo, I’m Rose Rey’s best friend and Finn’s girlfriend, nice to finally meet you! Come on in.” She held the door wider for me.

She was very lively; it was almost intimidating in its own way. Walking through the door I tugged at the edge of my collar trying to settle my thudding heart. The other hand is shoved deep in my jeans; I shift back on forth on my combat clad feet. I hope she doesn’t think I’m being too casual, but every time she sees me I’m always in a suit-so this is actually changing it up. Still, who knows if she’ll actually like this look on me. My hair is actually done for once too-I fussed with it for what felt like hours, it is slicked back, but doesn’t look like I used an entire bottle of hair gel to do so.

“Rey will be out in just a minute or two, you look nice you shouldn’t feel so nervous.” Her tone isn’t patronizing, but friendly and warm.

“Thanks,” I murmur, once again winning the award for being no good with words.

“You know Kylo, if you lead Rey on and don’t treat her like the queen she is, I will find a way to destroy you,” she says so nonchalantly as if she was reciting a cooking recipe to me. A normal looking smile planted on her face.

“Sorry I took so long Kylo I couldn’t decide what to wear,” Rey announces as she walks into the room wearing a flowing blouse, skinny jeans that hug her curvy hips paired up with red converse. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail which made me want to wrap it in my fist as I took her from behind. Okay now was not the appropriate time to be having dirty thoughts.

“Don’t apologize, you’re stunning. I like the casual look on you.”

She blushes at my words, “Thank you…you look really...,” her eyes wander down my body making my blood heat, “Sexy,” she finishes.

“Alright that is my cue to leave,” Rose declares and leaves to what I presume is her room.

“I kind of forgot she was there,” I admit, Rey clutches onto my forearm, covering her mouth as giggles wrack her body.

“You’re actually kind of funny Kylo, who would have thought,” she teases, biting her lip seductively.

“Careful baby, don’t make me bend you over my knee right now,” I growl, it’s a exhilarating sight to see her pupils dilate, her mouth parted-she almost looks like she’s in shock because I said that. “You would like that wouldn’t you? My dirty, dirty, girl.”

I’m slightly taken off guard when she pulls me down by my shoulders to press our lips together, it’s not an innocent kiss at all-this one is full of passion and need. I lose myself in the push and pull of our tongues, the way she nips at my lip making me groan into the kiss. Before we know it we’re suddenly on her couch, our pelvises pushed tightly against one another. I lick along her bottom lip before I begin to press kisses down her jaw-line relishing in the way she bucks up desperately trying to get closer to me. I slide my hand up her spine causing her to arch so that our chests are now touching. I feel the pounding of her heart matching my own. I get lost in her eyes for a moment, but force myself to look away. I press a deep kiss onto her pulse point earning a delicate moan.

“What about dinner,” I breathlessly say against her neck.

“How about we watch a movie in my room and get to know each other…”

“Rey, I need you to know right now that you’re more to me than a quick fuck. Whenever you’re ready then that’s when I’ll be ready too. I-I like you more than just a friend-more than just a friend with benefits. What I’m trying to say is I want to see you exclusively.”

A beautiful smile graces her face, “Let’s just go with the flow.”

“I can do that,” I reply and press a deep kiss against her lips. It’s fucking amazing.

We move into her room, both of us chucking our shoes off to lie beside each other on the bed. She puts on Friday the 13th the remake.

“What’s your favorite color?” She asks leaning her head against my shoulder.

“Come on Rey, I know those aren’t the kind of questions you want to ask to get to know me. I’m prepared for the questions you really want to ask.”

She ponders that for a moment, “Were you ever married?”

“Yes.”

“What happened?”

“She cheated on me countless times and then aborted our child without confronting me about it first to see what I thought about it.”

Rey gasps covering her mouth, “No, why would she do that!?”

“The woman was evil incarnated. She did everything in her power to destroy me. Every day she told me no one would ever love me to the point I actually believed her. I still do.”

“That isn’t true Kylo and you know it! You’re not this monster that you think you are, just because you get angry at things does not mean that you’re unlovable. You’re stubborn as hell, I have to admit that, but you’re charming too and funny,” she hesitates then whispers, “Easy to love.”

“What else do you want to know.” My voice is husky, I push a hair away from her face and tenderly stroke over her chin with my thumb.

“What made you want to become a doctor?”

“I wanted to help people and I thought it would help me get out of my shell, but that never happened. People still think I’m just an asshole that has nothing positive to say. They aren’t wrong…but lately I’ve been thinking that being nicer wouldn’t kill me.”

“I like nice Kylo.” Her palm is resting against my chest, the touch radiates warmth.

“I kind of do too.”

“Kylo, would you ever tell me to call you…daddy during sex?”

“Well that took a drastic turn, what made you think of that?” It was confusing to why she asked me such a thing, I wasn’t sure if she wanted to call me daddy-the thought had never occurred in my head.

“I had a dream…you told me to come for daddy and I don’t know it just really turned me on…am I sick to like that?” Her brows are furrowed in confusion and worry.

“No, it doesn’t make you sick Rey, if that’s what you like then I’m not opposed to you calling me that.”

“Really? I feel so dirty for even daring to like it, but it was really hot in my dreams so I can only imagine what it would be like to have it for real.”

“What was I doing to you in this wet dream of yours?” I murmur by her ear, feeling her tense up in my arms. Her body trembles as I skim my hand over her hip pulling her closer to me.

“Y-you were fingering me…commanding me to show you where I needed your touch,” she nervously says, her voice stuttering adorably.

That is a fucking sexy thought, I push her blouse up over her stomach she shivers at my calloused palm dragging up her stomach before I sink my hand lower and lower my fingers hitting the button of her jeans. With deft fingers I undo it, tugging the zipper down, “Show me where you need my touch baby girl?” I rumble, tracing along her pelvic bone.

With a shaky hand she leads my own into her panties, over the small tuft of hair on her mound down to where my fingers slip through her slick. “So fucking wet Rey, I’m going to make you come so hard you’ll forget your own fucking name.”

“F-fuck,” she pants, her fingers glide through my hair, holding on tight as I run my fingers up and down her cleft making her push her hips up and into the touch. “Kylo please just put your fingers inside, I-I need to know what it feels like to come around them.”

“God damn it Rey!” I thrust two fingers deep inside her rendering her breathless. Her walls are fluttering around my fingers, trying to push me out, but they only wind up sucking me in.

“My little girl, you are so fucking tight, when I put my cock in you it’s going to tear you in fucking half and you’re going to thank me, got it?” I bite down on her neck, pulling my fingers all the way out only to thrust them even harder inside causing her to cry out.

“Y-yes.”

My other hand wraps around her throat, putting pressure only on the sides of it, “No baby girl, try that again,” I grunt against her pretty lips, stretching her out which is causing her entire body to shake.

She’s confused, but I growl in her face making her figure out what I’m getting at, “Y-yes daddy…”

“That’s a good girl, you want me to make you come?”

She nods her head frantically, “P-please!”

“So needy,” I chuckle darkly, beginning to feel her walls starting to accommodate to the unfamiliar intrusion. Our breaths mingled together as I began to thrust my fingers faster in and out of her, curling them to stroke the spot that was sure to make her see the sun and moon at the same time.

“I’m close, so close.” She tugs at my hair, I press my lips against hers in a demanding kiss-now I’m able to feel how every thrust of my fingers causes her breath to hitch-it’s a thrilling feeling to know I have this power over her.

“That’s it, come for daddy,” I snarl and rub her clit with my thumb in hard circles, her walls clamp down so tightly that I can’t help but groan at the thought of that being my cock soon enough.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” she repeats over and over again as she convulses due to her climax.

I slow down the thrust of my fingers, enjoying the feel of her pulsing around them.

“That’s my baby girl,” I whisper.

TO BE CONTINUED.


	5. Cloud on my tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but this one is a continuation of the last chapter.  
> Hope you all enjoy!  
> Seriously can't thank all of my readers enough for inspiring me to keep writing!  
> Your words warm my soul and gives me the strength after ten hour days to sit down and do what I love-which is writing for all of you amazing human beings!  
> Much love <3

Rey

My entire body feels light as a feather right now-I’m floating on a cloud and enjoying every second of it. How the hell can a guy be that skilled with just his fingers!? It boggles my mind. I know no other guy has done that to me before, but I honestly believed that the first time a guy tried they wouldn’t know every-single-way to make me come so hard that I lost all train of thought.

“Rey, are you alright?” Kylo’s voice wakes me from whatever trance I had been succumbed by. With a dazed look I turned my head to meet his eyes, he’s laying sideways his head perched on his palm-worried optics scan over my face. I calmed that by giving him a warm smile, it was instant relief that washed over his face. “I thought I had hurt you.”

“N-no, that was,” I shake my head, “There are really no words to describe how amazing that felt.”

He nods and lies fully on his back now putting his hands behind his head. His black hair fans around his face like a halo, it was why I painted him because this is what I envisioned him to look like when he was beneath me…as I rode him. Okay brain how are you still thinking dirty thoughts? I already knew the answer to that question. It was because this is what I had always wanted since I first met Kylo. After all our sexual tension I was scared that it would never come to pass, forever boiling until we began to hate each other for it.

His shirt stretches around his biceps, my god those muscles are massive-I reach out stroking along the spindly veins that can be seen against all the hard muscle. He startles slightly, but gains his composure in the next moment. “I never thought I’d get to touch you like this,” I whisper.

“Why did you think that?”

I scoff, “Don’t act like you don’t know why. After all this unnecessary bullshit with you thinking I’m too young for you and keeping me at an ocean length apart from you.”

“You are too young for me, we both know that.” He peers over at me, a thousand and one emotions spiraling around in his midnight eyes.

“What is causing you to be so terrified by our age difference?”

“We’re twelve years apart you get that right? When I was legally drinking you weren’t even in the double digits yet. I’m a fucking pervert for even daring to do what I’ve done so far.”

“It’s not like you even knew me when I was a child, I’m twenty-one Kylo-old enough to make my own decisions.”

“You’re still a damn child,” he snaps pinning me with a look that calls for no-nonsense, but if he honestly believes I’m going to let him treat me like this-he has another thing coming.

“You’re just a coward Kylo!”

“It’s not nice to call daddy that little one,” he taunts with a dark chuckle that I hate to admit turns me on.

“It’s true,” I hiss.

With the grace of a jungle cat he has me pinned beneath him. Large hands are wrapped around my wrists before he slams them down to the mattress, his knees on other side of my waist caging me in-he looks like a wild animal that has finally caught his prey but isn’t sure what to do now that he’s gotten this far.

“Do you like antagonizing me?”

“Screw you Kylo, you’re the one who wants to call me a child! Yet didn’t you just have your fingers inside me no more than ten minutes ago,” I bite out, trying to get away from his tight hold on me. We both understand I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.

“What do you want me to do Rey, you want me to act like this is perfectly okay? People are going to see you with me and instantly know that I’m just an old perverted fuck that was lucky enough to get himself a young piece of ass. It doesn’t help that your tiny compared to me, you don’t even reach my shoulder-they’re going to think you’re my fucking daughter!”

I had never thought that all these thoughts had been plaguing him. As much as I wanted to reach up and soothe him-I knew I couldn’t.

“This is why you are a coward Kylo, you’re so scared of what everyone else is going to whisper behind your back that you can’t even see what is in front of you! You’re not even old, you have a better body than most guys my age-you’re motivated to help others and if you just let your guard down than you could see how much I adore you and how much I want to get to know you. All you have been to me is a stubborn asshole, but I see past all of that! Why can’t you give me a chance!”

“You can’t like me Rey, this will only end badly for you.”

Choking down the sob that wanted to flee from my throat, I turned my head away from him-no longer wanting to look into those beautiful eyes that made me feel way too much.

“Just go away.”

“Answer me this Rey, are you going to be okay when I take your virginity not giving two shits if it hurts or not, because I already have come to terms with the fact that once I’m inside you-I’m not going to stop until I find my release with your sweet little body.”

“Now you’re just being cruel to hurt me on purpose and how do  you even know I’m a virgin?” I whisper-my voice hoarse.

“I’m only speaking the truth Rey and it’s painfully obvious that you’re  a virgin.” He lets go of me, but before he can sit up-I slap him as hard as I can, feeling the sting on my palm and the sound ricochets in the small room. Silence follows except for the sound of his ragged breathing and the pounding of my heart. When he sits up, fear makes me sick to my stomach-there’s a storm raging in his eyes, his jaw ticks, and he runs a trembling hand through his hair. His cheek is red from where I slapped him.

“I can’t say that a woman has ever hit me before.” His tone sounds like he’s on the verge of exploding. He doesn’t strike me as the type to hit a woman, but it doesn’t mean he won’t.

“K-Kylo I’m-”

“Don’t be a liar, you’re not fucking sorry so don’t say you are.”

 That’s when a smirk crawls on his face, he drops his hand back to his side, “My pretty girl so fucking feisty-most women I’ve been with are submissive little things, but not my firecracker-she’s the perfect mix of sugar and spice. You know how hard you make me Rey when you fight back?” He drops his hands beside my head, looming over me-I only shake my head trying to figure out his angle. With one hand he takes my wrist in his hold turning it over so that my palm is facing up and presses it against the front of his pants. I gasp in surprise-he is like a steel rod in my grasp, warmth radiates from the spot.

“I should spank your pretty ass for that comment, but I think I’d rather have something that will cause me more pleasure,” he leans down, growling by my ear, “You’re going to suck my cock now got it?”

What is he crazy!?

“No, I’m not going to do that, now get off of me.” I glower at him, he laughs and obeys me getting off the bed. He grabs his boots, pulling them on with haste.

“I’ll see you around Rey.”

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” I jump off the bed, grabbing his hand before he can escape the room. He tugs it away from me, spinning to glare down at me.

“This isn’t going to work okay?”

“Because I wouldn’t suck your cock?” I say in a shrill tone that makes me ashamed by the outburst.

He frustratedly thrusts his fingers through his hair making the strands stand on end, “You won’t obey me. I like how strong you are, you’re probably the only woman I’ve ever met that I actually enjoy standing up to me, but if you constantly go against me it’s just not going to work. I have issues with control and I need it sometimes. I crave your submission Rey-I’m not going to demand it all the time, but this shows me right now that you’re just going to keep fighting back against me constantly.”

“This is just you trying to make up an excuse because you think I’m too young for you!”

His eyes darken, “Then lay back on the bed and touch yourself until you come.”

I shut up instantly, not knowing what to say because it’s in my blood to say no. He was so willing to accept my daddy kink, but here I am refusing to do something just because he ordered me to do it. “Is that what you really want?”

“No,” he steps closer one large palm splays on the side of my neck, running up to my jaw to where his thumb runs along my bottom lip, “Open your mouth,” he commands. I shiver at how husky his voice is…to be honest it isn’t so bad being told what to do-so I listen parting my lips earning a satisfied smile from him. He runs the pad of his thumb up and down my tongue a couple times before leaning in to take my lips with his own. His tongue thrusts into my mouth and I can’t help but to whimper especially when he tugs the band holding my hair out to clutch onto a handful of it. I was arching into his strong body, that made him tug harder on my hair-it stung but I wouldn’t dare stop him.

Every kiss is so intense that it’s causing me to feel light headed-we’re both breathing hard between kisses when we break for air, but the pull towards one another is too strong and we forgo oxygen just to pull one another even closer so that there is absolutely no distance between us.

After what feels like an eternity he breaks away from me, “Take off your pants and get on the bed,” he demands, fisting the back of his shirt tugging it off in one fluid motion. All his glorious muscle ripples due to the action and I lose my pants at an alarming pace, tossing myself back on the bed I grip the sheets as he stalks toward me leaning over the edge of the bed to push up my shirt-nuzzling his nose into the soft skin of my stomach. He replaces the touch with a kiss, hands run up my thighs reveling in the touch of skin against skin.

“You’ve been a bad-fucking-girl Rey, but I can’t deny my princess what she wants,” he growls and tugs my panties down immediately running the tip of his tongue up my slit and right back down.

“Oh shit,” I keen and try to escape the feeling, but he presses his hand against my stomach holding me in place.

“You’re going to be begging for my cock by the time I’m done with you baby girl.” He sucks hard on my clit, one finger runs along my wet center teasing me. Dark eyes watch my reaction to his touch, danger glints in them-I should have known what was coming, but I was still taken completely off guard when he thrust a thick digit inside me making me shout, another hard suck and I already feel close. He’s licking and shoving another finger inside me making me go crazy. My body is writhing, hands grasping so tightly to the bed sheets that I’m sure I’m going to rip them.

I watch as he closes his eyes, stroking me from the inside, tongue circling my tight bud-it’s a magnificent sight to see him enjoying this as much as I am. He’s scissoring his fingers in an effort to stretch me and it makes me wonder if he’s going to take my virginity, he wants me to beg so I will.

“Daddy, I want your cock so bad,” I moan and run my fingers through his raven curls-holding tight.

“I bet you do,” he rumbles against me making me jolt at how good the vibration feels.

“What do I have to do to make you fuck me?” I buck my hips up and he uses his hand to slam me back down.

“Easy love, I want you so fucking wet that when I do take you I slide right in.”

“But I’m so tight and your cock is so big-I don’t know if it’s going to fit,” I whimper and he growls-abruptly pulling his fingers out of me, clamping his hands on my hips he tugs me all the way towards him so that now I was flush against his pant clad cock. Large fingers wrap around my throat, “Such a fucking tease,  but first you got to make my cock nice and wet for you, so get on your fucking knees and do it.”

I practically jump him pushing him back on the floor, kissing his exposed neck with a need that is possessing my every thought, “Fucking Christ,” he whispers at my excitement to be touching him like this. I’m pressing kisses all over his chest, down to his sturdy abs, my fingers shake as I unbutton his pants and tug them down with his briefs-he lifts his hips to allow me to do so. Then I’m face to face with a cock that is jutting proudly up towards his stomach-it is so thick-so hard, the red tip leaking, it twitches under my perusal.

“So big,” I whisper to myself. With an inexperienced hand I wrap it around the base and stroke all the way up to the tip.

“That’s it baby, use that pretty tongue of yours for daddy.”

I dart my tongue out licking around the tip before I try to fit as much of his cock into my mouth it makes me gag and I gasp for air. “Easy love,” he grunts, “Just try sucking on the tip for now.”

I obey his words, he strokes the top of my head in a gentle manner, soft sounds leave him, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t aware that he’s making them. Once I begin to get the hang of it I begin to stroke him faster, my lips wrap tightly around his tip as I bob my head up and down. I never thought this would be good for me too because the way he’s trying to control the tiny thrusts into my mouth shows me that his words from earlier that he would- “take me without a care in the world”- were complete shit. He cares about me whether he wants to admit it or not and right now he’s handing the control over to me.

“F-fuck!” He grasps onto my hair tugging me off of him, pulling me up to be face to face with him, “I need you Rey, please tell me I can have you,” he whispers against my lips pressing his forehead against mine. His voice is full of so many emotions that it drives me wild with lust and adoration.

“Yes, a thousand times yes.” I press my lips firmly against his. He pulls me into his arms, I can’t help myself as I grind my wetness over his cock. He holds me under my thighs, standing up so that he can drop me unceremoniously on the bed. He rolls me onto my stomach, gripping my hips so now that I’m on my elbows my ass thrust up into the air.

“Tell me baby girl, can I take you like this?” His voice shakes ever-so-slightly.

“Yes,” I whimper pressing my face into the sheets. I hear the sound of a wrapper being opened, I’m assuming he’s putting a condom on-I’m on the pill, but I’m not going to assume that he wants to go bare in me. I really want to feel him though. “I’m on the pill Kylo, I want you to come in me.”

I shout when I feel his large palm slap my ass, it burns. “Dirty fucking girl, making me want you so damn bad, is that what you want baby? For daddy to take you with nothing in the way of his cock?”

I shudder, “Yes daddy, p-please.”

I feel him stroke the tip of his cock up and down my slit a couple times before he sinks the first couple inches in making me stretch to a point that it really does hurt. I grasp onto the sheet, “It hurts,” I cry out.

“I know baby girl, but it won’t last long,” he says in a soothing tone, now bent over me causing more of his cock to sink inside me. I grasp onto the back of his thigh to stop his movements. Instead of forcing himself all the way in, he pulls out a little and gently pushes back in just a fraction. He’s trying to stretch me out slowly and I’m grateful for it because Kylo is fucking huge. “You feel so good,” he whispers by my ear, “So tight, so wet just for me-I’ll never let you go Rey,” he hesitates before continuing, “I need you in my life forever.” I moan at his words pushing back against him, he curses when it causes more of him to delve deeper inside me.

“Do it Kylo.” I brace myself for the moment he’s fully inside me, but instead he continues to do slow strokes not even breaking through my hymen yet. The subtle roll of his hips is so fulfilling that it’s making me draw closer and closer to my release. It’s when he grasps onto my shoulder that I know what’s going to happen next-he thrusts all the way in to the point I can feel the hair that surrounds the base of his cock pressed up against my ass. He’s so deep, but the pain has been wiped away by how horny I am for him right now.

Before I can even think twice he’s pumping into me with an increased force that makes my breath hitch with every powerful thrust.

“Is this what you needed baby girl? For daddy to take your virginity like the fucking animal he is?” He licks between my shoulder-blades, his hands clutching to my waist pulling me back and forth on his steel rod.

“Yes!” I practically scream when he hits a spot inside of me that makes white lights flash behind my eyes.

I’m losing myself to the fast pace of his hips, the way he runs a hand up my stomach to squeeze my breast-he tugs at the nipple with calloused fingertips. His teeth bite into my shoulder, nipping and sucking to soothe the mark he no doubt left. He’s rocking into me and I can’t help but to rock back causing both of us to moan loudly. Suddenly he pulls out, flipping me onto my back and pushes right back inside. I wrap my arms around his corded neck as he continues to take us both higher and higher towards our climax. He’s panting, soft growls escape him-he presses his forehead against mine.

“It’s never been this good,” he whispers. He hikes both my legs over his arms, “You are so perfect Rey, f-fuck I’m pretty sure I fucking love you,” he growls and slams his hips into me making me cry out. I pull his mouth against mine, from there things become a heated mess, he doesn’t care anymore that his thrusts are moving out of time-he’s bucking into me chasing his release which is only sufficing to make his pelvic bone grind on my clit making me clutch to his shoulders before my fingernails run down the vast expanse of his back. I know they are leaving marks, but he doesn’t seem to care it looks as if it only turns him on more. Sweat is matting his hair to his forehead, little droplets fall on my chest-most girls would probably hate it-I fucking love it.

He’s rutting into me like a wild animal now, he manages to get a hand between us so he can rub vigorously at my clit, “Kylo!” my orgasm takes me by my surprise and I come on a shout, he keeps fucking me through my climax-my walls are clamping down so tight on his cock that I’m surprised that he’s able to still work his way inside me. He picks up in speed, it’s a beautiful sight to see him growing closer to his release-his hand grasps onto the back of my neck suddenly, he growls into the kiss that he bestows upon me. To say I’m surprised he hasn’t come yet is an understatement, it’s as if he’s enjoying it too much that he’s desperate to keep going. His breath stutters, even though this is the first time with Kylo I know that means he’s close.

“Come for me daddy, please,” I whimper against his lips. His eyes are so wild and dark drilling into mine, his brows furrow, “I-I love you too Kylo.”

Lips are against mine once again, tongue matching the thrust of his hips-he pulls away digging his forehead into my shoulder and comes on a low growl.

We’re a sweaty mess of bodies, when he pulls out he I can feel his cum leaking out of me. I’m suddenly nervous that I told him I love him, but I really do. We may not know each other that well, but all in all this force that drives us together is almost unbearable to deny. It makes me feel like I’m walking on air and I want to find out what happens next between us.

“I meant what I said Rey.”

“W-what?”

“I can see the wheels in your head running in circles, so yes I really do fucking love you and I don’t know how it’s so soon, but I can’t deny what I’m feeling. I need you and I want to be able to do this with you forever.”

“I want the same Kylo.”

He smirks and then we wind up going for another round of passionate sex before we wear ourselves out-falling asleep in one another’s arms.

I can’t wait to find out what happens with Kylo….

Who would have thought that my gynecologist would end up being the guy that I’m falling madly in love with.

Life is a crazy thing….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


	6. Sea of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this chapter is pure smut lol sue me XD  
> Anyways enjoy! <3

Rey

The sound of my heels resonates through the hospital’s hallway only sufficing to make my heart beat at a tremulous pace inside my chest. To be honest, I’m not sure what possessed me to bring Kylo lunch-I don’t know if he’s going to be happy to see me or if he’s going to tell me I’m crazy for thinking he wanted anything else but the amazing sex we had. Heat stains my cheeks; I’m prepared to turn back until Poe exits a room and spots me. A smile spreads on his face, he moves over to me, “Rey, right?”

I guess Kylo must have mentioned me for him to know my name because I'm pretty sure Kylo called me Miss. Kenobi the night he smashed Todd's face in, “Y-yes and you’re Poe right?” Ugh, I can’t believe I just stuttered.

 Instead of making fun of me for my nerves he ignores it, opting to be the friendly guy he seems to be naturally, “The one and only! Are you here to see Kylo?” He tilts his head to the side, eyeing me curiously.

“Yes, I hope that’s okay. I’m not sure how hospital policies work regarding bringing lunch to an employee.” I hold up the paper bag that has a roast beef sandwich inside. Kylo had mentioned to me how much he loved roast beef and I took it upon myself to get a bunch of ingredients to make a sandwich that definitely beat anything subway had to offer.

“Of course you’re allowed to bring him lunch. He’s currently with a patient, but I can take you to his office and I’ll page him to let him know you’re here.”

“Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!” I thank him profusely and he just chuckles nodding his head in a direction.

“Follow me, my dear.”

Trailing slightly behind him, I regard the fact that he’s only a couple inches taller than me. I’m so used to Kylo’s staggering presence that it’s almost strange to be able to basically look a man straight in the eyes without having to crane my neck. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be with a man that isn’t towering over me if things don’t work out with Kylo. That thought saddens me though-I truly believe that no one will ever come close to being anything like Kylo. He has his issues just like the rest of us, but there’s just something about him that makes him stand out amongst the other guys that I’ve had an interest in. It worries me that Kylo is going to think I’m being needy now that he’s the one who got rid of my pesky virginity for me.

I was sore after Kylo and I wound up having sex for hours upon end, but all in all, it was worth it. I was scared things would become awkward between us once morning arrived-we ended up making breakfast together, drank coffee, and talked about nonchalant things until he had to leave. Now here I was waiting in his office after not seeing or talking to him for a few days. While I waited I scanned over the pictures he had on his desk, one I assumed was of his parents-another was of a dog. There was also one where he graduated from college, his hair was shorter barely sticking out underneath his cap and I was surprised to see such a carefree smile on his face.

“What are you doing here?” His voice made me jump and I whirled around to see him hovering by the door, hands tucked inside his doctor’s coat. His eyes seemed almost cold-I had made a mistake, my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.

“I-I brought you lunch…” I weakly held up the bag, his eyes dropped to it and then back at me.

“Now’s not a good time Rey.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come.” I was about to make my way out the door when a lady walked in. My attention was instantly drawn to her bleach blonde hair, it was unhealthy looking and her skin followed suit. She looked like a burnt Barbie doll.

Her baby blues skimmed over me, a look of disgust washing over her face, she sneered at me, “Who the hell is this Kylo, your fuck toy? Couldn’t you find one with a bigger rack?”

“Enough Kylie,” he grounds out through clenched teeth. Pools of black connect with my own, he may look calm on the outside, but I see everything I need to see reflected in his eyes. He’s burning with barely concealed rage.

“I’m just saying you can do better Kylo,” she says with a humorless laugh setting her purse down on the desk, giving me a once over again with that same disgusted look played out on her face.

“Rey, I think you should go,” his voice is strained; the tic in his jaw beats a furious rhythm. He’s a wild animal, ready to take down his prey. Kylie seems unfazed by the whole situation, she leans against the desk, a stupid grin tugs at the corner of her mouth.

I don’t understand? Is he ashamed of me…afraid to tell this woman that I’m his girl? Who is this woman is the real question.

“Who is she?” I ask nodding my head at her whilst maintaining eye contact with Kylo.

His eyes flare, there are red lights flashing all around him that are warning me to not do this-to leave and not look back. He cocks his head to the side, “Rey, I won’t repeat myself after this. You need to go.” He rewards me with a tight smile. The asshole.

“I’m Rey,” I say as I put my hand out towards the fake tan lady. She stares at my hand as if it is a spider about to bite her.

“The name is Kylie and FYI I’m his ex-wife.” She lightly shakes my hand pulling it away and with what she thinks is discretion-wipes it off on the side of her dress.

“Now that you two ladies have met, Rey it’s time for you to be on your merry way, alright?” His voice demands obedience, but I’m just not in the mood. I drop the lunch I brought him on his desk, placing both hands on my hips and stand up taller. I’m more than satisfied when his entire body goes rigid, piercing orbs pin me with salacious intent, but I don’t cower away like he seems to want me to.

“Actually, I didn’t come all this way to bring you your lunch and get nothing in return. You can’t think that’s fair, right _daddy_?” I already fully comprehend that I’m crossing a line, to say that in front of his ex-wife is just plain crazy-still this is what Kylo does to me-he turns me into a foul-mouthed, dirty, dirty, girl.

“Did she just call you daddy??” Kylie shrills.

Kylo’s steps are heavy as he crosses the room over to me, my neck cranes to look up at his towering form. His calloused hand envelops my jaw, pulling me closer to him causing me to lose my balance so now my palms are flat against his distinct abs. The pad of his thumb runs along my lower lip lazily, “Kylie get the fuck out of here,” he gripes still staring at me.

“B-But I need that money,” she whines and even goes so far as to stomp her foot. What a child.

“I said get the fuck out.” His voice is like ice, it scares me just as much as it scares Kylie who has already hightailed her ass out of the office.

Kylo’s eyes narrow at me, he pulls away from me only to shut and lock the office door.

“Turn the fuck around and bend over the desk,” he demands tugging at his tie. I choose to ignore him hoping that he doesn't think twice about my disobedience.

Heat spans its way all over my body, he can’t possibly think that we’re going to have sex here. His eyes say otherwise though-he’s fully prepared to fuck me on this desk right now. He prowls toward me, wrapping the tie around my neck before pulling it tight enough that it makes me gasp in surprise. He watches my parted lips as I exhale on ragged breaths, desire swells low in my belly causing wetness to pool between my thighs. A storm of desire is raging between us. My lust ratchets up when he glides his free hand through my hair, he fists my curls in his massive hand.

“I can’t believe you called me daddy in front of my ex-wife, you were a very bad girl Rey,” he growls tugging my head back so that my neck is open for the taking. He brushes his lips over my pulse, an electric shock pulses through my veins making me shudder. He sucks on the supple flesh, biting down in the next instance. This is all I need. All I’ve ever wanted is to feel this intense connection with another person. His lust is insatiable when it comes to me, I can’t get enough of it. With every touch, every kiss-I feel what he’s trying to convey without the use of words. His chest shifts against my breasts as he presses kisses along my collarbone and over my shoulder. His free hand drops to my thigh, trailing up along the bare skin. I watch his hand disappear underneath my dress; fingertips hit the edge of my lacy panties and without further hesitation, he pushes them aside to dip his fingers into the wetness gathered there.

He brings those fingers up to his mouth, his tongue darts out licking my desire off of them. His eyes closed as he savors the taste. Lewd and surprisingly hot.

“My baby girl always so wet for me,” he rasps flexing his fingers in my hair.

“Kylo, we really shouldn’t do this here.” I nervously shift under his hold on me.

“Such a naïve little one,” he chuckles before sealing our lips together sufficing to shut me up.

His lips were demanding, crushing our bodies together to the point the desk was digging into my back-I ignored the pain in favor of the heat that was sparking in my belly because of this kiss. His mouth was so warm, a fire was constantly burning inside him and I was only dousing more gasoline on it. My need makes me feel like I’m floating higher and higher-I can feel my core producing more aid for his cock to slide right in, but I know he won’t give me what I’m desperate for right now.

I can’t help myself-I buck my hips up against him finally finding the friction I was yearning for. His grasp tightens in my hair to the point it’s almost painful. His erection is pressed against where I need him most. The feel of it throbbing when I rock against it is intoxicating. I’m able to rip a fierce moan out of him, his tongue thrusts in my mouth whilst his hips roll into my frantic movements against him. He devours my lips, igniting all my nerve endings when I hear him undoing his belt with one hand, the tail-tale sign of his zipper easily heard in the small office.

This feeling is threatening to take over all my senses, doused in arousal due to this man and his fervent need to have me bend to his every demand. He tears his mouth away from me, black eyes blazing with stark passion, “Tell me baby do you like how fucking crazy you make me?” he pants, both of us trying to catch our breath.

“Y-yes,” I murmur against his lips.

He grabs my waist, hoisting me on the desk onto my ass. Splaying his massive hands out on my upper thighs he spreads them open, nostrils flaring at the lace that is without a doubt noticeably soaked through.

“Keep your legs open just like that,” he rumbles hooking a finger into the flimsy material, pulling it to the side. My cheeks flame due to the way he’s admiring the rosy flesh, two long fingers stroke my slit from top to bottom-I keen into the touch.

“Such a pretty cunt,” he huskily says-lust coats his voice, “There are so many things I want to do to you Rey, I’m just not sure you can handle it.”

“I-I can handle it, I promise,” I plead and try to get ever closer to his fingers that are stroking me in a teasing manner.

“No, I don’t think you can,” he darkly chuckles, two thick fingers surge forward without warning, knuckle deep inside me. My legs open wider on their own vocation as his fingers curl –deliciously rubbing against my g-spot with every push and pull.

“K-Kylo, fuck,” I ground out. His thumb finds my clit, rubbing in deep concentrated circles that are making me dizzy with the need to come.

His lips crushed mine, tongues crashing against one another messily-my fingers clutched at his biceps doing my best to hang on for dear life as he drove me closer to my climax. I never knew that this would ever feel this good, I’m not sure there is any other sensation that can match the way how Kylo makes me feel. He tastes like peppermint, his musky scent invades my senses and I do everything in my power to be closer to him. My back arches, smashing my breasts against his trembling chest-his heart is pounding like a drum and I’m positive mine is doing the same. He leans over me, pushing things aside on his desk so he can lay me back and is successful in doing so without breaking the punishing rhythm of his fingers.

“Fuck I love how tight you are, I can’t stop thinking about the way you feel around my cock, squeezing me so hard. Your beautiful face, when it scrunches up when you’re nearing your climax-fucking, makes me so damn hard. You love my cock don’t you baby girl?”

I’m unable to form words, so I can only nod, but that isn’t good enough for him. He clucks his tongue, “I said you love my cock don’t you baby girl?” He has stopped the thrust of his fingers, teasing my clit in small barely there touches.

“Y-yes I love your cock, it’s so big and I love how hard you get especially when you’re inside me and about to come. I-I can’t get enough of your cock,” I cry out and urge him to keep going. He rewards me by continuing his maddening pace, rendering me incapable of forming a valid thought-he has completely short-circuited my brain. Then he stops- pulling his fingers out and replaces it with his cock-stretching me out so much that all oxygen is snatched from me. I gasp trying to suck in a lungful of air, but it’s useless when he starts to pound into me at a brutal speed.

He wraps one strong arm around my waist so he has the leverage to pull me back and forth on his steel rod that is spearing into me causing me to see stars.

“So fucking tight,” he snarls, a hand grips the globe of my ass. Our skin slaps noisily against each other. My legs are shaking around his waist; I’m embarrassingly wet making it easy for him to glide in and out of me with harsh thrusts that I feel in my gut. “My baby girl always teasing me for no fucking reason-likes to see her daddy lose control, isn’t that fucking right?”

“I-I’m not teasing you,” I pant as he slams into me over and over again. I’ll most likely have bruises, but it will be worth it.

“Don’t fucking lie,” he rumbles and abruptly pulls out to reposition me on the desk so that now my thighs were touching and I was practically laying sideways on the wood beneath me. This way he can see my ass, but also my reaction to the way he’s about to fuck me. He smacks my ass, an elicit moan escapes me. “God fucking damn it Rey.” He propels his cock forward entering me in one smooth motion. He takes his time, rolling his hips in a way that makes his cock hit me right where I need him to. In this position I can see the way his abs ripple with every powerful push, sweat trickles down his chest-veins stand out proudly against the pale flesh. All the veins in his hand are a glorious sight as he holds onto one globe and takes me the way he wants to. Hard-fast-bruising.

As he is rutting into me, a warm palm drifts up my side to my breast where he flicks the hardening nipple, “So fucking perfect,” he emphasizes with a deep circle of his hips that has me whimpering. Without stopping his mind-blowing thrusts, he leans over slamming his hands on the desk beside my head-his tongue flicks over a tight bud before he takes it into the warm cavern of his mouth. His cock is hitting so deep inside me at this angle that I feel like I can barely handle it.

His thrusts start to become erratic, he’s getting close to his orgasm and I’m close behind. It takes me by surprise when I feel his thumb glide between my cheeks and run along the hole that I had never even thought of being touched like this. I’m breathing so hard as he uses my wetness to spread it over the tight hole pushing in ever-so-gently. Just by doing that my climax hits me like a baseball to the chest-he covers my mouth with his free hand-muting my screams.

“So loud baby girl, don’t want somebody seeing you like this or is that what you want? For everybody to see me, balls deep inside you. I’m going to come inside you and I know how much you’re going to fucking love my cum dripping out of you.”

I can only nod my head, a smirk crawls on his face, he tips his head back and begins to surge forward at an alarming speed that has his balls slapping against my ass. It feels so fucking good. “I’m gonna come baby girl, tell me how much you want me to do that,” he growls removing his hand from my mouth.

“I want it so bad daddy, need you to fill me up.”

“F-fuck, so fucking hot, gonna fill you up right now.” His movements become jerky, mouth parting as harsh pants make his chest shudder. I swear I hear a whimper escape him when my walls clamp down on him. He comes on a low sound that sends electricity jolting through me. Slowing down his strokes, until he pulls out and I feel his cum dripping down my thighs.

“Pretty sure everyone heard us,” I whisper, blushing at the notion that everyone knows what just happened.

“Good, they can all be fucking jealous,” he says cleaning himself off and then moves over to clean me off as well.

When we’re fully dressed he pulls me into a fervent kiss, leaving us breathless when we pull away.

“Dinner with me tonight?” He asks pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Of course.”

With one last kiss, I make my way out the door wondering how the hell that happened but cherishing every second of it.

I hurry home and wait for him to get off work….

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	7. Hearts like Thunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has turned to porn with plot lol  
> Sorry this chapter took so long, but I really hope you enjoy this twist on their relationship.  
> I was inspired by a comment that was left on this story, (thank you Wolviesrogue). I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with this until it suddenly just hit me and thus this chapter came to be.  
> Enjoyyyy!  
> As always, much love <3

Kylo

“Your girl is so late,” Phasma snickers, “You look like you’re about to murder someone.”

I glare at Phasma, “If you’re not careful, that someone may just be you.”

She puts her hands up in a form of surrender, “I’ll grab you another whiskey.”

“Thanks,” I mutter combing my fingers through my hair, tugging at the strands irately.

After that day where Rey met my ex she has been acting different. She’s become much more rebellious. I have a feeling she’s doing this all on purpose. Even I can admit I was an asshole to her that day and most likely made her feel like I didn’t give a fuck about her. Of course that was entirely not true. I loved her, even though she knew how to grind my gears like no other.

Rey was a firecracker, a light that could never be put out-she was strong, intelligent, and above all things she was tired of me treating her the way I do. Ever since the first day we met I haven’t been exactly pleasant. I’m surprised she even wanted anything to do with me after all the bullshit I’ve put her through due to my own issues. If I didn’t shape up, then I knew that she would leave me without thinking twice. Still, how can I change after I’ve been this way for so long? Rey is the first woman I’ve dated that has no problem standing up to me and of course that sends my controlling personality through loops. All I’ve ever known how to be is dominant in all aspects of my life. Rey only allows dominance when it comes to our time spent in the bedroom and now she’s making damn sure that I understand that.

I smell her before I see her, too lost in my own thoughts that I hadn’t even realized that Phasma had already set my whiskey in front of me. Rey always smells like strawberries, I never thought I’d like that scent on a woman, but she wears it well.

Peering over I see her sitting beside me, acting like she isn’t over an hour late in meeting me. She looks stunning as usual, but today she’s dressed more casually. She wears a white blouse paired up with blue jeans that hug her curves perfectly. Chestnut hair is in loose waves around her shoulders. My mind wanders to how much I want to wrap that hair around my fist and tell her she’s been a bad, bad, girl, but instead I wrap my hand around my glass and throw back the whiskey inside in one gulp.

Phasma chooses that time to take Rey’s order, she asks for some fruity drink that I’ve never heard of-Phasma winks at me and I scowl right back at her. She hides her laugh under a cough and moseys over to make Rey her drink.

“Why were you late?” My voice is stern, not exactly the tone I wanted to use, but as I said it’s hard for me to change.

“I guess I just lost track of time,” she nonchalantly says texting someone on her phone. 

It takes a lot out of me not to snatch her phone out of her hands and chuck it across the bar.

“You obviously had your phone. You could have texted or called me.”

“I could have.”

Phasma places Rey’s drink down in front of her, Rey thanks her with a wide smile on her face, but Phasma knows better than to stick around so she leaves to help other patrons. Rey takes a hearty sip of her drink still not making any eye contact with me.

“And why didn’t you?”

“To be honest Kylo, I was busy and I didn’t think you’d actually care if I was a little late.”

“You were a fucking hour late Rey, of course I care.”

Finally she makes eye contact with me; Hazel orbs are lethal and I instantly hate the way they are directed at me.

“Well, I thought that I wasn’t too important to you; you know after you were about to kick me out of your office that day while your whore of an ex-wife had no clue who the hell I was.”

I groan in frustration, “I thought we were past that.”

“Why would you think that? It’s not like we ever sat down and worked it out. The last thing that you want to do to fix situations is talk about it. Just because your cock is basically the Holy Grail doesn’t mean that it can just solve everything.”

I would like to say I was above childish behavior, but to compare my cock to the Holy Grail is just way too fucking funny, “The Holy Grail huh?”

She glares at me so intensely that it causes a shiver to run down my spine, “Okay, that wasn’t appropriate, but give me a break here Rey. You’re the first woman to have the guts to stand up to me. I’m not used to this behavior and frankly I really don’t know what to do about it.”

“I want you to be aware of the way you make me feel when you act like I mean absolutely nothing to you. You took my virginity Kylo and I’m not trying to act like I’m the type of girl to get all needy and attached to you, but you told me you loved me first. Yet, you call me a child, tell me I’m too young for you, and demean me in front of your ex-wife. I’m worried that you’ll constantly keep me always an arm’s length away from you because you’re scared of what everyone is going to think of you. We’ve been dating for months now, yet whenever we’re in public you don’t hold my hand, we never share even a simple kiss in front of others, when you notice someone looking at us you cast your attention to the ground-you’re ashamed to be seen with me Kylo. I was late because I was contemplating if I’m just wasting my time with you and to be honest I think I might be. I have to go.”

She doesn’t even finish her drink or give me a chance to answer before she storms out of the bar.

“Are you not going to go after her, you fucking idiot,” Phasma hisses at me, blue eyes full of rage.

I can’t even talk. I feel like I’m spiraling into a black hole and it has taken all the oxygen out of me. My heart clenches inside my chest. I’m sure I’m about to have a heart attack, but nothing happens. Whether I’m in shock or complete disbelief-I already know I’ve fucked things up to the point that I’m not sure if Rey would ever give me a second chance.

“Whiskey,” I choke out, holding back the sob that wants to rip out my throat. When Phasma sees my broken expression, her entire demeanor softens, and she does what I ask.

I’m a total fuck-up.

* * *

 

The sound of my phone ringing pulls me out of my slumber, when I open my eyes I let out a groan of pain. The light is blinding only causing the headache I have to increase tenfold. Groggily I search for my phone until finally I manage to grasp onto the cool case, “Hello?” I murmur.

“You do know you’re late as all hell to work right?” Poe’s voice says on the other end.

“Fuck, I forgot I work.”

He chuckles, “Sounds like somebody had a long night. Were you with Rey?”

Just the sound of her name being mentioned makes me want to crawl back under the covers and live the rest of my days as a lonely hermit, “No. She dumped me.”

“Wait what? Why?”

“I’m a fucking douche bag who never deserved her in the first place.”

“God damn it all Kylo, are you kidding me? Seriously you didn’t realize how good of a thing you had when it came to Rey?”

“Of course I fucking did,” I growl into the phone which only suffices to make my head pound harder in agony, “You know me Poe, I sabotage good things due to the fact I’m just a damn coward. She was right about me.”

“Then stop being a coward! Go win her back you dumbass!”

Running a hand through my mess of hair, I let out a loud side rolling onto my back to stare at the ceiling above me that looks as empty as I feel right about now. Rey brought light into my life and without her in it-my life went back to being dark and cold, devoid of the warmth that I had grown to crave, “I don’t know how to do that Poe.”

“You find her and you tell her what a big baby you’ve been acting like-how your life will never be the same without her in it. You confess Kylo. You tell her the truth.”

“What if the truth destroys me?”

“It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth it or not Kylo. I can only hope you make the right decision.” He hangs up without another word.

As usual, Poe is right. If I don’t do everything in my power to get Rey back then I’ll lose the one person who has shown me so much in just a short period of time. Yet, how the hell was I going to win her back?

I called the hospital letting them know I wasn’t going to be making it in today, my boss wasn’t too happy about it, but I convinced him that I was deathly ill and that would not be good for the patients in my care. He grumbled a ‘get better’ and was the second person to hang up on me without saying goodbye in the course of an hour.

I managed to force myself to take a shower, going over in my head what I was going to say-hoping that she would have some mercy on me and my stupidity. She had every right to reject me. I wasn’t kind to her and now I was facing a strong wake-up call that threatened to ruin me. Who would have thought that I would ever meet a woman that made me want to tear down every wall I had built up in my head just to get to her. It felt like daggers being dug into my back as I tore them down, but it was worth every ounce of pain if it meant that I would have Rey in my arms once again.

* * *

 

I’m standing outside Rey’s apartment door, wiping my clammy palms on my jeans before I knock and wait. A couple minutes later the door is whipped open. Rose stands before me acting like I’m not 6’4 compared to her 5’1. She’s shooting daggers at me and I’m surprised that it actually kind of scares the crap out of me.

“U-Um hey, is Rey here?” I stutter, instantly heat spans the entire length of my body. Nervously I shove my hands into my pockets and try not to rock back and forth on the heels of my feet.

“Even if she was here I wouldn’t tell you. I warned you that if you hurt her I would make sure I destroyed you one way or another. I think making sure you can’t breed a ball full of hate was first on my list,” she snarls and takes a step towards me. I instantly flinch and take a massive step backwards.

“I was a fucking idiot alright? I’ve always been a dumbass when it comes to women and I know Rey deserves to be treated like a fucking queen. I’m a coward-the way she makes me feel is so unfamiliar and it terrifies me, but I’m done cowering in fear. I love her. I can’t envision my life without her…please just tell me if she’s here.”

The words were hard to confess, but Rose needed to know that I was done playing around with her friend’s feelings. I could only hope she would believe me.

She crosses her arms over her chest, leaning against the doorframe, “You don’t deserve her.”

“I know.”

“I swear that if you ever hurt her like this ever again I will bury you alive, got it?”

I nod my head, “Got it.”

“She’s not here. She’s at the gym,” she bluntly spits out and shuts the door in my face. What is up with people not saying goodbye to me today? I guess karma is making sure that I know she’s there.

Without thinking twice I race over to the gym, not caring that I’m in jeans and a t-shirt. I ignore the strange looks I get, swipe my badge, and go straight to the place where I know she will be.

When I walk in, I’m taken aback by her raw beauty-she is beautiful in every shape and form, but right now I can see how angry she is and I hate how even when she’s pissed off she makes me uncomfortably hard. Now is not the time to be thinking sexually I growl at my cock that is trying to steal all the blood from my head. Adjusting myself, I move towards her. Somehow she hasn’t noticed my presence in the room yet, headphones are in her ears as she punches the bag like she wants to murder it. I bet she’s picturing me in her head.

Finally, she notices me and jumps a good two feet off the ground. She rips her headphones out of her ears, “What the hell Kylo? Are you trying to give me a heart attack??”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, grasping onto the back of my neck. I know I must look like a sad puppy dog that has been kicked one too many times even though I have no right look like it-not after the way I’ve treated her.

“Sorry for scaring me or for treating me like shit?”

“Both?” I don’t know why I question it, but I’m feeling super anxious suddenly. My nerves are threatening to make me throw up.

She scoffs, “Seriously Kylo what are you doing here? I already told you we were over.”

Tentatively I step closer to her, “You didn’t actually break up with me…not that it matters or anything, but I am here for a reason.”

“Then spit it out already,” she huffs frustratedly, putting her hands on her hips.

“I love you Rey and the last thing I want to do is lose you because I’m a coward. You were right, I’m afraid of what others will think of us being together. You’re so young Rey, you have so much life ahead of you. I’m already thirty-three and it scares me that I won’t be able to be able to give you everything you want if we continue this relationship. I let those thoughts stop me from seeing what I have standing right in front of me and that’s a beautiful, intelligent woman that wears her heart on her sleeve-who is willing to put up with my brooding self even after how I’ve treated her. You’re so amazing Rey, I’m always going to think I’m not worthy of you, but I’d rather be in your life loving you, treasuring you, making love to you any chance I get than to not have you at all. I’m tired of being alone. I’m sorry for being a dick to you from the very start. You’re the last person on earth that deserved my harsh words and there’s no excuse for the things I said or did, but I can only hope that you’ll give me a second chance to make things right between us.”

She remains silent, staring at me like I’ve grown a second head. As we stand in silence for what feels like forever, I begin to grow antsy under her gaze. My heart tremors on the inside, drops of sweat bead at the base of my neck and trickle down my spine. My skin is pulsating with too much adrenaline as I grow more and more terrified of what she is going to say.

“You really hurt me Kylo.” She finally says after what feels like a millennium of waiting for her to speak.

“Please, just give me a chance.” I’m standing right in front of her, she cranes her neck back to be able to maintain eye contact with me. With a trembling hand I cup her jaw and watch as the touch assuages some of the anger off her expression. Still, she doesn’t fully give into me and I’m willing to understand that.

“I can’t take having my heart torn into pieces again.”

“Rey, I will do anything you ask, please I’m begging you…don’t give up on me just yet.”

“It’s strange to see you beg. I kind of like it.” Her voice is light and teasing as she speaks.

“I will fucking beg as much as you want me to if it means that you’ll take me back,” I sputtered out the words like a wet fuse pressing my forehead to hers.

“Take me to your place Kylo.” Her commanding tone causes my body to shudder almost violently.

“Yes ma’am.” Even with two words my voice gives away my longing to have her in my bed. She grabs her stuff, placing her hand in mine as we walk to my truck and I help her inside. There’s no use in hiding how much I want her as I run to the other side to get into the driver’s seat and speed all the way home.

Upon arrival, we both hop out of the car, but unlike my sense of urgency Rey just moves her body like a lazy cat who just wants to bathe in the sun all day. I do my best to tamp down the growl that wants to escape me due to my impatience.

“Oh Kylo, you do understand we’re doing this my way right?” she hums out and winks at me playfully before moving past me-making her way inside to the one place she does know in this house of mine and that’s the kitchen.

I follow her like the dog I am, watching her with hungry eyes as she opens up my cupboard to grab two glasses. She has to stretch to get them due to her height, it accentuates her tight ass that is asking to be spanked. She sets the glasses down on the counter, grabbing the whiskey that sits not too far from her reach and pours a hefty amount into both cups before she turns around extending one towards me. When I don’t move she quirks an eyebrow at me, she shrugs and sets it back down. She takes a sip of the whiskey she poured for herself and manages to not wince at the harsh taste.

I decide to indulge her, with a couple strides I stand in front of her and reach towards the glass that is on the counter next to her causing our bodies to mold against one another. I lift the liquor to my lips, wishing it was her lips that I was tasting instead. I knock the whiskey back in one go, slamming the glass back down, but she just smiles at me teasingly. She’s enjoying seeing me squirm, loving the way she is winding me up like a fucking jack-in-the-box--never knowing when it’s going to pop out and scare the living hell out of you. She’s treading on thin ice, but what did I expect-she’s giving me a chance so I have to let her take the reins on this one even though it’s making me want to explode.

She runs the tip of her tongue along her lush lips that are full and enticing. She rolls her hips into my cock that has been hard since I first saw her punching the bag with all her might. A tormented moan leaves me, “Don’t do that,” I growl, gripping the counter to the point it’s turning my knuckles white.

“Why not?” She asks innocently.

“You know full well why you shouldn’t do that right now.” Lecherous thoughts are racing through my head and I’m trying to shake them away, but it’s proving to be pointless.

She bites down on her bottom lip and repeats the action, “But what would be the fun in stopping?”

I groan miserably, I’m getting a massive case of blue balls-my cock is jutting towards her full of carnal need to be inside her. “Rey, just tell me what you fucking want.”

“I want you to grovel at my feet Kylo. I want you to beg for my sweet cunt.”

Fuck!

I can’t help but to darkly chuckle, “Damn you Rey.”

The lust is threatening to consume me, the string between us draws tighter and tighter bursting with ardent want-still she refuses to give in.

“C’mon Kylo, I know you can beg so do it.” Her voice is pure sin.

“Please,” I hush out.

“You can do better than that,” she hisses, palming my cock through my jeans, rubbing the length with slow, tantalizing movements.

“I need you, fucking please Rey. Let me have you.” I’m highly embarrassed to admit that I whimpered, but she’s making me feel a way I’ve never felt before.

“Hmm, better, but still not good enough. Show me your bedroom Kylo.” She pushes past me, drink still in hand as she awaits for me to guide her to the promise land.

I want to hate the way she’s bossing me around, but it’s too damn hot so for once in my life- I obey the orders of another. I can hear her light footsteps behind me, they make my blood race through my veins sending electric shocks all over my body. I push the bedroom door open and allow her to walk in first. She takes a large gulp of her drink and sets it down on my dresser not giving two shits if it leaves a watermark. My dominating personality tells me to spank her for that action, but I push it down and wait for her next command.

She threads her fingers behind her back, taking in her surroundings from my medical degrees that hang on the tan walls, to the conjoined bathroom that is embarrassingly bland, and lastly to my king sized bed that is a swirl of black and red. Her eyes pin on the metal headboard that looks like it’s giving her some wicked ideas.

“Take off your shirt,” she demands, turning to face me now.

I grasp the back of my collar, tugging the shirt up and over my head. I hold it over my chest like I’m a fucking virgin or something.

“Toss it to the side Kylo.”

I drop it to the floor, aware that my breath is quickening and my chest is puffing up and down.

She sashays up to me, my body goes taut when she reaches one hand out and runs her fingertips along the veins of my bicep that are popping out of my skin due to how rigid I’ve become. Her touch doesn’t stop there, fingertips brush along my shoulders, down over my chest skimming along my nipple which has never been touched in a sexual manner before. I can’t say I hated it. She slides her deft fingers down feeling up my defined six pack, towards the dark happy trail, but avoids the place I’m itching for her to touch the most.

“I never thought you’d have this nice of a body underneath those doctor clothes of yours. I can’t say I’m disappointed one bit. Now lay back on the bed, hands above your head.”

I pin her with a warning glance, “Rey,” I say through clenched teeth.

“Sounds like you’re disobeying a direct order Kylo.”

“What the fuck are you planning to do?”

“I guess you’ll have to find out right. Now lay back on the bed and grip that damn headboard,” she barks out emphasizing her distaste of my disobedience by jutting her hip to the side.

“Fine.” My tone is clipped.

I move towards the bed, knowing full well she’s scanning those hazel orbs over the expanse of my back. I lie back, gripping the headboard as I let out a whoosh of air that I didn’t know I had been holding in.

“That’s a good boy, now don’t you dare move those hands. I’m going to drive you so crazy Kylo, you don’t even know what’s going to hit you. I’m going to bring you so close to release then stop until you beg me to just end the suffering.”

My breath hitches, cock somehow hardens even more as I let her naughty words crash over me.

She strips down to absolutely nothing. Her body is so goddamn perfect, golden skin that matched her shining personality. Her breasts were small, proportion to her slender frame-dusky nipples pointed towards me begging to be kissed. I can only grasp harder to the metal frame doing my best to not lurch off the bed right now and demand her to follow my commands from now on. Her hands run up her stomach, cupping her breasts in her hands-her eyes fall shut as she does so.

“I bet you wish your hands were touching me.”

“Of course I want that,” I snarl at her and that makes her eyes snap open.

“I don’t like the tone you’re using with me Kylo. You should behave or else I’ll never let you get the release that you’re desperate for.”

A growl sits low in my throat, but I don’t allow it to find its way to the surface.

She moves towards the edge of the bed, with precise fingers she unbuttons my pants grabbing the waistband of them and my briefs tugging till I lift my hips up, allowing her to pull them down until they reach my ankles where she pulls them off with haste.

Her palms run up my thighs, she grins when she feels me quiver under her touch.

 “You’re trembling, what’s wrong Kylo? Nervous?”

I clench my teeth, refusing to answer her. She just responds with a sweet laugh, her hand wraps around the base of my cock and strokes me all the way up to the tip-running her thumb around the moisture that has gathered there. I bite my lip so hard I draw blood. I will not allow her the gratification of getting me to whimper once again. “So stubborn,” she mutters, her breath flits along my cock. I buck into her touch.

“Easy now boy, you need to stay still, got it?”

“Got it,” I grumble.

“Good boy.” She then takes my entire cock into her warm mouth, I can’t help the cry that leaves me this time around. It takes all my strength to not thrust my fingers through her hair. My entire body is shaking as she licks along the tip of my cock, stroking me simultaneously. When she cups my balls with her other hand I almost lose it. When she pulls away I want to force her to keep going, but at the moment I’m rendered helpless.

She places open mouthed kisses along my stomach, up to my chest, her lithe body crawling along my bulky one. She bites down hard on my neck, I scrunch my eyes close, “No Kylo, keep your eyes open.” She licks along the vein that is throbbing in my neck and I do as she says reluctantly.

“You’re killing me,” I manage to rasp out. She looks like an angel, but she’s acting like a fucking devil sent here to torture me with her body.

“Oh Kylo, this is just the beginning.”

She precedes to nip along my jaw, before she brushes her lips along mine. I’m rooted to the spot, panting against her soft mouth. I feel her warm cunt connect with my abs right as she pulls me into a fiery, passionate kiss. My brows pull together due to the intensity of the emotions that are raging inside me. She presses her tongue to the seam of my lips, and when I allow entrance, thrusts her tongue against mine- eliciting a moan from the cavern of her throat. I swallow it with a hungry groan of my own. Wishing I could pull her closer to me, but know that I have to keep my hands attached to this bed post at all costs. A fuse was lit inside my head, the warmth of it spread throughout my entire body as I desperately tried to get closer and closer to her. Her kisses brought me to the edge of the cliff and then brought me right back down to earth. How she did it was beyond me, but she was dominating the kiss-the first woman to do so and I was craving every second of her torment.

When she grips my cock, I keen into her and without warning she bears down on me.

“Ahh fuckkkk,” I groan at the feeling of her walls suddenly clamping my cock in their death hold. She’s so damn tight, so wet and warm.

“Don’t you dare let go,” she pants, remaining completely still over me driving me further into madness.

“I won’t.” My voice sounds like I’m in agony and I pretty much am at this point.

“Good,” she surges forward, I whimper, “Boy.”

She begins to gyrate her hips slowly, resting her palms on my chest to maintain her balance. She tilts her head back to the ceiling riding my cock with more urgency, bouncing up and down so that she’s taking every inch over and over again. She impales herself back down, rotating her hips-little huffs of air are leaving her parted lips and it’s the most intoxicating sight I’ve ever fucking seen. When her nails bite into my skin, I thrust my hips up and into her-to my relief she doesn’t get mad at me but instead cries out in unbridled joy.

“Your cock is so amazing Kylo, it never fails me to fill me up to the point I can feel you in my fucking stomach,” she gasps, her breath hitching with every thrust.

“Fucking Christ Rey, I want to see you come.”

“I bet you do.”

She leans forward, her bare chest pressed against mine. Her nipples brush against my chest, driving me crazier. She smashes our lips together, tongues slipping into each other’s mouths with pure unadulterated lust as she continues to drive me insane with the roll of her hips. The noises her cunt is making are so raunchy and it’s only propelling me closer to my release. She must feel me getting closer because she suddenly halts her movements, licking along my bottom lip and bites down on it, but not enough to break the skin.

“You’re not allowed to come until I say so,” she whispers against my parted lips.

“Rey, please,” I beg pressing my forehead against hers to the best of my abilities in this fixed position.

“Are you going to be a good boy and treat me better?” Her hand wraps around my throat taking me off guard. I gulp at the heated look she’s pinned me with.

“I promise.”

“You going to make me feel like I’m the queen of the goddamn universe?”

“Y-Yes, I swear I’ll be better.”

“If you don’t keep your promise Kylo, I will drop you so fast your pretty little head will go round and round in circles not knowing what the fuck just happened. Do you understand?”

“I won’t fail you…I understand.”

“Then do what you want with me Kylo.”

My hands leave the metal bars so fast as I surge my body up, bringing us to a sitting position. As my palms splay across her smooth back, her legs wrap around my waist-my cock still seated deeply inside of her.

“I love you Rey.”

Her fingers run through my mass of curls, “I know.”

Our lips come together in another ravenous kiss, I plant one hand on her hip guiding her frantic movements as she begins to chase her release. The kiss is full of tongue, teeth, and everything in between. Her legs tighten around me like an anaconda that is slowly crushing the life out of its prey, but I can’t find it in me to stop her from doing so. Not when I can feel her start to convulse around my cock, walls clamping down so hard around me that I’m seeing stars. She moans into the kiss, nails claw at my back no doubt leaving angry red marks. I slam her down on the bed, now hovering over her, pounding into her at a pace that has her abandoning our kiss so that she can release the scream that she has been holding back. I’m rutting into her so fucking fast that I’m surprised she’s able to take it. I hike her leg up higher, delving deeper.

 “Holy shit! I’m going to come!” She wails, nails digging so deep into my skin. Her walls fluttering around my cock helps me find my own release. I let out a low and guttural growl, shooting my load inside her unbelievably tight cunt. With lazy thrusts I keep pushing in and out of her until I finally pull out, collapsing beside her. Both of us are panting, trying to get our breathing back under control, but are failing miserably.

“I thought you were going to make me beg to end my suffering,” I tease.

“I think I got close enough to doing that, so I’m fine with the way things turned out.”

“You were so hot Rey.”

She rolls onto her side, tracing my abs with light motions, “I can’t believe I acted like that.  I was sure you wouldn’t listen.”

“I didn’t think I was going to either, but damn I loved every second of it even though it did drive me a bit crazy.”

“Well, I’m glad you let me take control for once, but I meant what I said Kylo you better treat me right from now on.”

I pull her back on top of me, cupping the back of her neck until our lips are a mere centimeter away from one another, “I will treat you like you deserve-with respect and love.”

A smile tugs at the corner of her lips, “I love you Kylo.”

I smile back, “I know.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!  
> XOXOXOXO


	8. Breathe Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can you hear me say your name forever?  
> Can you see me longing for you forever, forever?  
> Would you let me touch your soul forever?  
> Can you see me longing for you forever, forever?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then, I was inspired by a Ghost song called "Life Eternal" and this is what became of it lol  
> Hope you enjoy and beware for a cliff-hanger!
> 
> These are where I got inspiration if you'd like to look them up!
> 
> Rey's mask: https://www.google.com/search?q=masquerade&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjE76vYu-XbAhWLo1kKHXeBAnUQ_AUICigB&biw=1440&bih=767#imgrc=7zMtQ6hZVXg-UM:
> 
> Kylo's mask: https://www.google.com/search?q=masquerade&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg:CTo9rubd9lEQIjiJmqJHj4tcA1ppjZINCIB3DTw8xmu7TVODIpgCd2OzzvQCJqQNZdIc4tNqPiEDzuTDtPTx42kofSoSCYmaokePi1wDEVzvyKHNd8WaKhIJWmmNkg0IgHcR8uL7M1VVPg0qEgkNPDzGa7tNUxEbV93QT-qCeyoSCYMimAJ3Y7POETb0NOKujbPmKhIJ9AImpA1l0hwRmU7Yz8YyWqIqEgni02o-IQPO5BGJ1oGipAXGwioSCcO09PHjaSh9EaPF_1GAZvQeV&tbo=u&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj-p-fcu-XbAhUGrVkKHV08D8kQ9C96BAgBEBs&biw=1440&bih=767&dpr=1#imgrc=WmmNkg0IgHdbhM:
> 
> Kylo's dress-wear: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/354447433156643585/  
> Rey's dress: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/527202700110766132/
> 
> As always much love <3

Rey

“So, why did we decide to come here? Isn’t it like thirty dollars for a plate?” I inquired, scanning over the over-priced menu.

Both Finn and Rose looked giddy as if they were hiding the world’s biggest secret and if they didn’t spit it out anytime soon-they would combust.

We’re sipping on wine that has to be more than our electric bill and Lord knows all of us are poorer than poor-so I’m a little confused as to why we’re celebrating absolutely nothing.

“We brought you here because we have some exciting news to share with you,” Finn said, his voice full of barely contained excitement.

My brows knitted together and I flicked my attention between the two of them. They were glowing. How had I not noticed that before?

“We’re getting married!” Rose exclaimed suddenly and flashed me her left hand where a pretty diamond rested on her slim ring finger.

It was like my mind went blank; all I could do was sit there and stare at the ring flashing in my face. They were getting married? They had been together for what felt like a decade now so it only made sense, but I thought at least one of them would give me a head’s up before they decided to make such a big decision.

“Did you guys set a date yet?”

“We were actually planning to have a small wedding in about a month or so. Just a handful of our closest friends and family. We already have the venue and basically everything is set. It’s going to be a cheap wedding, but all we want is to just spend the rest of our lives together,” Rose sighed, staring dreamily at Finn.

“Were you planning on keeping the apartment?” I know what they are going to say when both of their smiles vanished.

Finn looks wary as he begins to speak, “Actually, we were thinking of finding a small home to move to…”

My heart drops to my stomach. I had lived with Finn and Rose for years now and they had made me feel safe when I thought I had nowhere to go after all that went down with my father. Now, it felt like I was slowly losing them and on top of it all there was no way I could afford the apartment on my own let alone any one for that fact. Trying to shove those thoughts away, I instead forced a smile on my face.

“I’m so happy for you both, congratulations.” I reached over to touch both their hands and we all smiled at one another, knowing that eventually, this was what would happen. I couldn’t live with them forever, but now I was terrified of where I would go.

They drew the conversation away from themselves and instead put the limelight on me.

“How’s Kylo?”

I take a large drink of my wine; both of them watched me with amused expressions, “He’s been better I suppose.”

Finn quirked his brow, “You suppose? What does that mean?”

“Well, he’s been really on edge lately. I guess work has him pretty stressed out. I can see he’s doing his best to not let it affect our relationship, but he’s been avoiding me lately. When we do see each other he doesn’t even want to have sex, he just wants to sit and watch television on the couch. I know I should be content with the simple things of our relationship, but it’s been almost two weeks that we haven’t done it.”

“You need to tell that man that Rose is going to light a fire under his ass if he doesn’t shape up. Didn’t he say he was going to do right by you? Geez, that man is hopeless,” she mutters and shakes her head in disapproval.

“And he’s an old man,” Finn chimed in teasingly.

“That’s irrelevant.” I pin him with an annoyed look and he throws his hands up in surrender.

“No offense,” he adds, but still gets rewarded with a slap in the back of his head by Rose.

“His age is not the issue here. It’s the fact he can’t seem to get it through his thick skull that Rey is a queen.” She crosses her arms over her chest and lets out a little noise of self-assurance.

“I’m just saying Rey, you’re twenty-one, and he’s thirty-three. It’s kind of weird.”

“It’s not weird at all actually, plus I’m turning twenty-two in a couple days,” I say and drain the rest of my wine.

“Is he going to take you out?”

I shrug my shoulders, “He doesn’t even know when my birthday is.”

Rose’s eyes bug out of her head, “What the hell Rey!? Tell him, I’m sure he’ll make it extra special for you.” She winks suggestively and I roll my eyes at her.

“I’m sure nothing will happen.”

“Only one way you’ll find out.”

That is true, but I’ve never been one to make a big deal out of my birthday and I had a lot of other things I needed to focus on-like finding a new place to live.

Once we finish our meals, we pile into my car. I turn on my rock station and Finn is restless in the seat next to mine until he finally reaches over and changes the station.

“Hey, I was listening to that you know,” I murmur and glare at him.

“C’mon Rey, country is a hundred times better than rock!”

“I can’t believe you just said that,” I said in disbelief.

“How can you not like Blake Shelton or Dolly Parton??”

“I can say Dolly Parton is actually great, but really Blake Shelton?? Blehhh.” I stick my tongue out for dramatic effect.

“Blake is amazing; you don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“Country has songs like, ‘I can take you for a ride on my big green tractor’.” I’m giggling at the silly words. I can still remember hearing that song and laughing my ass off to Finn’s dismay.

“And, “I chime in with a haven't you ever heard of closing a goddamn door!’ is any better??” Finn yells off-key making Rose finally make herself known in the back seat and even I can’t help but to laugh so hard I’m snorting.

The three of us are all gasping for air by the time we stop laughing, “My god, I’m dead,” Finn groaned.

“I used to love that song,” Rose admitted.

“I think we all did,” I replied.

“I can honestly say I really did enjoy listening to that song just a tad too much back in the day,” Finn confessed and we all broke into another fit of laughter.

I was going to miss living with Rose and Finn for this reason. After all the late nights watching horror flicks or dancing our asses off to lame song-it was going to definitely take some time to adjust to not being able to do that in the spur of the moment.

As if sensing my distress, Finn patted my thigh, “Hey, we’re still going to be around whenever you need us alright?”

I nodded and did everything to hold back the tears, “I know. I’m just going to miss you guys.”

“You can visit us whenever you want and we’ll come to see you too Rey. It’s not like we’re moving to another country,” Rose teases.

“Still, it’s just going to take some time getting used to. You guys are everything to me.”

“And you’re everything to us.”

On that note we blast Finn’s country music and even I can’t help but sing along.

This was just another point in my life that I would have to conquer…

* * *

“You seem kind of out of it today,” Kylo states as he walks over to me sitting on the couch-two mixed drinks in each one of his hands.

He extends the drink over to me and I take it with a muttered thanks.

He sits next to me and I can feel his eyes roving over my face trying to decipher what’s going on in my head. After I gave him the biggest pep talk of his adult life, he actually has been trying to be better. Of course, Kylo has a control issue that he battles with every-single-day, but he does his best to rein that in. I don’t mind it if it’s for my own good or if it’s whilst we’re under the sheets, but other than that I don’t allow Kylo to treat me like I’m lesser than him.

He gently pushes a strand of hair behind my ear, pulling me from my thoughts, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

I shake my head, pressing my cheek into his warm palm, “Just have a lot on my mind.”

“Then tell me what’s going on up there.”

“Kylo.”

“Rey.” He retorts and I heave a sigh.

“Finn and Rose are getting married,” I whisper sadly. I know I should be over the moon for them, but it’s been all of us against the world for so long that I can’t seem to wrap my head around the idea of us not all living together anymore.

“Why do you sound disappointed?” His eyebrow quirks up.

“I’ve lived with both of them for so long Kylo. After my father became a drunk and gave up on life, they took me in and gave me a home. Now, they are going to get married and find a place together. I have nowhere to go and it terrifies me.”

“Live with me,” he says so nonchalantly that I almost don’t catch it.

My head jerks to the side to look at him, it practically gives me whiplash.

“W-What did you say?” My eyes dart between his dark ones.

He leans in closer to where our faces our merely an inch from another, our breaths mingle together, “You can live with me,” he repeats, his lips touch mine as he says the words and I shudder.

“K-Kylo, we’ve only known each other for like 6 months. It’s a preposterous idea!”

His jaw clenches, “I don’t see how it’s _preposterous_.”

“Couples are supposed to know each other for years before they decide to live together.”

He laughs humorlessly, stormy eyes pin me with a look that says he’s been hurt by my words, “You can just fucking say you don’t want to live with me instead of making a bunch of excuses,” he growls and stands to his towering height. He stalks over to the kitchen and I’m right behind him in the next heartbeat.

“It’s not like that Kylo.”

He slams his drink on the counter, whirling around to face me, “Then what is it like Rey?”

“What if we live together and find out we’re not compatible at all? We might grow to hate each other.”

He scoffs, “You don’t know that.”

“I’m still scared Kylo! This is a big decision.”

“I understand that. I wasn’t saying you had to decide right now, but the way you reacted sure showed me how much shits you give about me.”

He made to move past me, but I grabbed his wrist stopping him in his tracks, “Please Kylo, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

When his eyes meet mine, the tortured look rips the oxygen out of my lungs.

“Do you even understand how much I care about you Rey? How much I fucking love you and how much it fucking tears me apart because I’ve never felt like this for anybody before, especially not in such a short amount of time. I’m terrified each and every day being with you, but I just want the best for you and the last thing I want is you living in some shitty apartment in a bad neighborhood. Just let me take care of you for fucks sake.”

I reach up and stroke his jaw-line with my fingertips. His jaw clenches and unclenches underneath them, “O-Okay…”

“Okay what?” He says frustratedly.

“I’ll let you take care of me…I’ll move in with you.”

Kylo grasped my chin roughly with his thumb and forefinger, tilting my face up. “My baby girl,” he kisses me gently before asking me a question that I never thought he’d ask in a billion years, “Would you go with me to a doctor’s ball?”

“A doctor’s ball?” I ask confused.

He seems anxious as if asking me to go to this thing was painful in its own right.

He lets out a sigh, “Yes, it’s a masquerade theme.” It rolls off his tongue with much distaste.

I stifle a laugh by covering my mouth, but the sound still manages to escape me slightly muffled. He glowers down at me, “Rey, it took a lot of balls to ask you to this thing so say fucking yes or no.”

“Of course I’ll go with you to this…masquerade,” I purr with a teasing lilt to it.

He grasps onto the nape of my neck pulling me into his hard body, I gasp when my palms land on the taut muscle of his chest, dark eyes flit between mine before he leans down and presses a heated kiss to my parted lips. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of his lips against mine.

My life had definitely gotten a lot more interesting now that Kylo was in it and I honestly couldn’t imagine with being with anybody but him. He’s my brooding protector who I can’t get enough of.

When we pull away, he presses his forehead against mine, “So, is this masquerade like our generation of one or phantom of the opera style?”

He chuckles, pulling away to press a kiss on my forehead, “Unfortunately, the Chief Physician is highly into theatrics so he went with the latter.”

Holy shit that meant Kylo was going to have to dress up. Just imagining him in that Victorian Style made my mouth water. I couldn’t wait for this ball to arrive now.

“Hey, don’t get a bunch of ideas in your head,” he chuckles.

“I’m not,” I lie and hide a smirk from him by pushing my face into his broad chest.

“Of course you’re not,” he says sarcastically, “If your friends would like to join they may.”

I pull back, beaming up at him, “Really!?”

“Of course baby.”

I squeal in delight and pull him in for another earth-shattering kiss.

* * *

I stare at myself in the mirror, this is definitely the most black I’ve ever worn in my life. I usually leave Kylo to be the one dressed in all black, but tonight I wear a satin dress that is all black except for the jacket I wear over it which is embroidered with a beautiful golden threaded pattern.

My long brown hair reaches past my shoulders in gentle waves, my lips contrast my dark clothes-bright red. The silver mask sits on the bridge of my nose, only covering my eyes and nothing else. My make-up is smoky and I really hope that I make Kylo go mad with lust just by looking at me.

Rose barges in, wearing a beautiful emerald dress that hugs her figure perfectly, a multi-colored mask in the shape of a butterfly sits on her face and I stifle a laugh at the silliness of it.

“Hey, I have no other mask,” she whines.

“You look great Rose,” I say standing up to walk over to her. I kiss her cheek and she rolls her eyes.

“Fine, I forgive you.”

Suddenly Finn enters wearing the exact outfit the phantom wore in the scene where the masquerade went on. The red is amazing on him, the white mask only covering half of his face.

“Sing to me, my angel!” He sings off-key as he pulls Rose in his arms and twirls her around. She giggles loudly.

I can’t help but smile at how beautiful they are together. I couldn’t be happier for them, finally over letting the move get to me. They were going to spend the rest of eternity together and I was going to be in their lives every step of the way.

When they stop dancing around the room, Finn gasps as he looks at me, “Oh my Rey, you are going to give Kylo a heart attack!”

I shyly laugh, “I highly doubt that.”

“That man is not going to know what hit him!”

Finn takes my hand and spins me around the room eliciting giggles out of me just like he did to Rose.

Finally, we all stop our antics and pile into Finn’s truck. Kylo had to go to the ball early to make a donation to the ‘Make-a-wish’ foundation and it basically melted my heart to learn that he really was just a big ol’ teddy bear with a huge heart.

Upon arrival we were all shocked to see that where the ball was being held was in a grand mansion. The walls were a white stone that glimmered with all the lights that shone on it and the roof was grey slate. There were beautiful sculptures in front of the mansion that appeared to be angels and goddesses. When we parked, we stepped out of the car all astonished by the large fountain and the perfectly manicured hedges that towered over us.

There were tons of people dressed up to the nines entering through the large glass doors and we all followed.

“Holy shit,” Finn whispered and when I saw what he was looking at I too let out a sound of awe.

The diamond chandeliers illuminated the marble floor. The stair rails were made out of mahogany carved and polished so they shined almost as much as the chandelier above us. Hundreds of people danced in unison that I was taken aback by how coordinated this ball was. There was a table full of all types of food on one end of the room and on the other a full table with drinks. Servers walked around with flutes of champagne and when offered to us we all eagerly obliged.

The music was lovely, a live band was playing and I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I searched for Kylo in the crowd, hoping his staggering height would lead me to him, but I did not see him anywhere.

“This is insane,” Rose hissed by my ear.

“I know, this was not what I was expecting,” I replied still looking for Kylo.

Suddenly, I felt a warm hand at my waist-startling me. I spun around and gasped when I looked up to see a silver wolf mask staring back at me.

“I wasn’t going to wear a mask, but Poe insisted on this one,” Kylo said huskily.

Dark eyes wandered over me, his jaw twitched slightly giving away his approval of how I look.

When I took a step back to get a full view of him, I was not disappointed at all. He shoved his hands into his pockets, standing taller as he reveled in my perusal.

He was wearing white to my surprise; except for the coat he wore.

His long legs were covered by white trousers that his shirt was tucked into; a waistcoat was tailored perfectly to fit his broad body. The black coat he wore stretched across his burly shoulders; the silk bowtie around his neck looked neat and made him look much more proper than he usually looked. Black boots adorned his large feet, pointed, narrow toes with detailing at the edges. He looked like an Adonis in a room full of men that could never in their dreams hope to be as manly as Kylo.

His black hair was smoothed back, still reaching to the nape of his neck and curled out. The wolf mask would look silly on anyone else, but on Kylo it made him look way too sexy for his own good.

He tilted the mask up to introduce himself to Finn, that gorgeous face of his revealed to my hungry eyes.

“I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting, I’m Kylo,” he said reaching his hand out towards Finn.

“Finn, nice to meet you,” Finn replied and placed his hand in Kylo’s.

After a firm handshake, Kylo turned his attention to Rose, “You look stunning Rose.” He took her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to it.

Rose blushed, “U-Uh thank you, you don’t look too shabby yourself.”

He chuckled light-heartedly and stood back to his full height pulling the mask back down.

“I hope you two don’t mind if I steal Rey for a dance.”

“Of course not!” They both managed to say at the same time. He gave them a slight bow and took my hand to lead me onto the dance floor. Even with heels on, Kylo still managed to tower over me.

He placed one hand on my waist, the other in my hand. I placed one hand on his bicep, he began to lead the dance and I somehow followed his movements. To say I was in shock at how great of a dancer Kylo is was the understatement of the year.

His motions are fluid, big feet managing not to step on my own. He is definitely more graceful than I am. All I can do is hope that I’m keeping up with him.

“You look so fucking good,” he says leaning in towards me. Smoldering eyes give away his desire for me.

I can feel the wetness pooling between my legs. I hate how easy it is for him to make me keen at his words. He twirls me away from his body, we both stare at each other for a moment, and he twirls me back into his sturdy body in the next moment. We sway to the music flitting throughout the dance hall.

“I want you so bad, Rey. Why the fuck do I need you so much?” He growls, cupping onto my jaw. His mask hides his face from me, but I know his brows are furrowed.

My heart is pounding so hard in my chest, his voice sounds like he’s in agony and maybe he is.

“K-Kylo-”

He cuts me off, “I already know the answer baby girl, it’s because you’re intelligent, funny, downright beautiful, you keep me on my feet, you have a fire inside of you that can never be put out, you laugh at my stupid jokes, you call me on my bullshit, you are strong, caring, and you love me for some damn reason. I need you because you are everything I’ve always wanted. You’ve made me into this blubbering fool who tells you all this cheesy stuff and I couldn’t be happier.”

I feel tears well at the corner of my eyes, “I love you Kylo more than you know.”

Abruptly he grabs me by the wrist, tugging me towards the staircase, not seeming to care if anyone sees where we’re going. It looks as if he knows where we’re going because he pushes me into a small room that has a small sofa and a dresser. I’m confused by it all, but when I hear the click of a lock I turn to see Kylo who is shedding himself of his mask tossing it to the ground as he pins me with a dangerous stare. I thought Kylo had completely given up on wanting to fuck me, but right now I understood completely that he was going to finally give me what I’ve been wanting for weeks.

My breath skips, he’s breathing hard as he tugs at his bowtie unraveling it. Drops of sweat bead and trickle down my spine; he’s warping the oxygen out of the room replacing it with his brutal aura.

My body is pulsating with too much energy as he draws closer to me. I lean back against the dresser, gripping it tight as he looms in front of me. Kylo is so damn handsome, I’m not even sure he’s aware of it. He shrugs his coat off, letting it fall to the ground. He tugged the collar of my coat to the side, leaning in to press open-mouth kisses along my neck up to my jaw and further to where took my earlobe in between his teeth. I groaned at the feeling, grasping onto to strong shoulders to tether myself to this world. Kylo’s dark energy surrounds us making me needy with my want for him to just take me.

He grabbed my waist, hoisting me on top of the dresser he begins to shove the layers of my dress up to my hips demanding I hold onto them. I obey him with no questions asked. He growls at seeing the tights underneath my dress and before I know the sound of my tights ripping echoes in the small room. I gasp as he tears them apart, shoving the flimsy material to the side so he can cup my core. A low and guttural sound escapes him as he feels how wet I am for him already.

“Your panties are fucking ruined, seems like somebody has missed my cock,” he said licking his bottom lip.

I can only whimper in response, he shoves my underwear to the side and gently strokes my clit with his index and middle finger. He explores me with almost lazy motions that are making me buck my hips forward desperate for him to apply more pressure. With his middle finger, he circles my opening but doesn’t give me what I want. He knows how badly I need him, but continues his relentless teasing.

“Kylo,” I huff frustratedly.

He chuckles darkly and thrusts two long fingers inside me. I release a low moan and reach out blindly grasping onto his biceps. The base of his palm is pressed against my clit and grinds over it as he continues to thrust his thick fingers in and out of me. I’m panting hard as they curl and stretch me taking me closer and closer to a release I’m desperate for.

My fingernails dig into his biceps right as he latches his mouth onto my own, tongue delves inside to meet my own and takes on a heated exploration of my mouth. The kiss is messier than our usual kisses, but I enjoy it all the same. He pulls back to thread his other hand through my hair, pulling my head exposing the column of my throat to his predatory eyes. He licks a strip along it; I scrunch my eyes at the sensation as I whimper in need. I’m throbbing at the push and pull of his deft fingers and the way his thumb is now circling my clit in a rhythm that is driving me higher and higher.

“So damn pretty, did you want my cock baby girl?” He groans as he feels my wall starting to flutter around him.

“Yes daddy, please!”

“Ah fuck,” he shoves his fingers harder inside me, lowering his forehead against mine, “You haven’t said that to me in quite some time.”

“P-please…I need your cock so bad daddy, give it to me,” I whisper against his pouty lips.

He lifts me off the dresser to lay me back on the sofa, his large frame hovers over mine as he connects our lips over and over again. His tongue dominates mine and all I can do is hang on for dear life as he pushes my dress back up to my waist. He tugs his own trousers down, rubbing his cock against my wet opening.

“Shit Rey, so fucking wet for me.”

“A-always,” I whimper bucking my hips against him when his tip hits my clit just right. He groans and grasps onto his cock to guide himself inside of me. He’s enjoying teasing me as he only pushes forward ever so slightly with the tip of his cock and then pulls back.

“Please Kylo, fuck me!” I cry out and thrust my fingers into his hair not caring if I mess it up.

Finally, he gave me what I want and pressed forwards into me, but only filled me up halfway and withdrew before he thrust forward sheathing himself to the hilt. We both moaned in unison and he started moving into me with earnest, desperate to plunge deeper and deeper inside me. He set a brutal pace that changed my breathing with every powerful impale. I writhed beneath him when he changed his angle circling his hips in a way that was hitting my clit and g-spot perfectly.

My vision was going hazy, “Your cunt is so fucking tight baby girl, so wet,” he said in a low voice by my ear and suddenly pulled out to roll me over onto my stomach.

I instantly got onto my knees and forearms, the dress bunched up past my stomach, but I can’t find it in me to care right about now. I feel his blunt head at my center and he doesn’t hold back when he penetrates me with a hard thrust forward. He’s stretching me to the point it almost hurts and his cock is lodged so deep inside me I can feel him in my stomach.

Kylo doesn’t allow me to adjust to his length, I think most girls would hate that, but I don’t. I let him set a fierce pace; his calloused hands grip my hips so hard I’m sure that I’m going to be a bruised mess in the morning.

“That’s a good girl, taking my cock like a fucking champ,” he comments with a sharp laugh. He slaps my ass for good measure before he grips onto the firm globe and begins to rock me on and off his cock. I’m aware I’m moaning like a cat in heat, but I’m not going to stop in fear of someone overhearing us. Not when Kylo is slamming over and over again into my g-spot.

He’s so thick, I can feel every inch as he pulls all the way out and pushes right back in. My core is clamping down on the intrusion and loving every second of it. I curl my fingers into the cushion beneath me.

“You’re fucking drooling, holy shit,” he snarls losing control over me. A large hand trails up my spine and grips onto my shoulder as he savagely pounds into me causing me to scream. He presses the side of my face into the sofa as he looms over me. He’s snapping his hips so hard I can feel his sac hitting my ass.

He continues to snarl obscenities and it’s exactly what I need because I’m coming so hard that my vision goes black and I’m sure that I just passed out due to his cock. He growls his approval as he continues to fuck into me.

“Gonna fill you up,” he whispers so low I almost don’t hear him.

His groan gives away his release, he lazily moves in and out of me filling me up with his warm cum. He doesn’t pull out right away; instead, he hunches over me and kisses the nape of my neck tugging my head to the side so he can kiss my lips.

“Perfect.” I close my eyes at his soothing voice.

When he pulls out, I fill his release run down my thighs and my core clenches already ready for round two, but I know we need to get back to the party.

Kylo helps me off the sofa; both of us right our clothes and head back down to the ball where it’s still very much alive with music and bodies swaying on the dance floor.

“Where the hell were you??” Rose asks as she runs up to me, inspecting me for any sign of injury.

“N-Nowhere,” I lie and she fixes me with a glare, placing her hands on her hips.

“Don’t lie to me missy, even under that mask your face is beet red and his bowtie is sloppy, you two totally just hooked up!” Her eyes are comically wide on her face.

Kylo clears his throat and I know for a fact he is blushing under the wolf mask. He shifts uneasily from side to side, shoving his massive hands into his pocket.

“N-No we didn’t,” I continue the lie, but she knows I’m full of shit.

“Whatever you say, come dance with me, you little liar.”

I shoot Kylo an apologetic look and follow her onto the dance floor where for the rest of the night we have the time of our lives. Kylo joins me a couple times but makes nice with a couple of people who are asking him doctor-like questions.

When the night ends, Finn and Rose thank Kylo profusely for allowing them to attend to which he smiles at them and says anytime.

We share a final kiss and he watches me leave, the wolf mask no longer hiding him from me. He looks so stoic and his dark eyes are conveying how much he loves me.

I whisper, “I love you.”

And it’s like he heard me because I see his lips move, “I love you too.”

We smile at each other one last time and I enter my car.

I could have never imagined that life was going to test me in the worst way possible…

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! <3


	9. Say Goodbye...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for this short and shitty chapter, but it was only to move the story along.  
> Thank you to all my readers!!  
> Much love <3

Kylo

If someone had told my younger self that I would be dating a woman twelve year my junior, I would have laughed my fucking ass off and flipped them the bird.

When I think about it though, from the first moment I laid my eyes on Rey I knew that it was over for me. I had wanted to run out of that room so badly when I saw her waiting there anxiously for me to ask my questions. When I mentioned the Pap-smear her pretty hazel eyes had widened to comical proportions. I realized that she had forgotten the whole point of her visit, the wheels in her head were spinning round and round and I was hoping that she would ask for another doctor so I could escape scot free. Yet, she gained her composure and that was that. It was set in stone that she would be the one for me.

She was innocent, but she had a fire burning inside her that said otherwise. Rey was a saint for putting up with my stupidity and if she hadn't put her foot down I could have lost her. I never thought I could love another person as much as I love her.

I let out a sigh, staring out my office window. When did I become such a sap?

The blaring of the phone takes me from my thoughts, "Dr. Ren speaking."

"Kylo, it's Rey." She sounds like she's stifling tears and it tugs at my heartstrings.

"Rey, what's wrong?"

"It's my dad," she says on a sob.

"What about him?"

"He has stage four lung cancer…he showed up at my apartment today and told me the news. He apologized and I just couldn't turn him away Kylo, he has nowhere to go. He lost the house because he wasn't able to afford it with all the medical bills."

"Shh, it's okay baby, I'll handle everything okay? He can stay at my place, I'll get him a nurse to watch him 24/7."

"I can't ask you to do that," she whispers.

"You're my girl, I'll do anything for you."

She cries harder, "Thank you so much Kylo."

"I love you so much Rey, you know that right?"

"Of course I do…I love you too…"

"I'll make the arrangements, he can go over today. Just hold tight for me in the meantime alright?"

"Thank you so much…"

"I'll talk to you soon."

She says goodbye and after we're off the phone with one another, I immediately call Poe over and he helps me to set up everything I'll need to have at home patient care.

"You're a good guy Kylo," Poe tells me once we have finished everything for Rey's dad to live at my place.

"I care about her and I don't want her to stress out about this. That's all."

Poe chuckles, patting me on the back, "You need to learn how to take a compliment."

"I have never been good at that and you know it."

"Trust me, I know. Still, you're doing something that you honestly don't have to do. Rey is lucky to have you."

"Thanks, Poe."

"There you go, now you're getting the hang of it," he teases.

I roll my eyes, "I should get going, you're good with handling the rest of my patients?"

"Of course, I got your back."

"Thanks again," I say as I gather my belongings and head out the door.

When I arrive at home, I see that there's already a delivery van outside, and I greet them once I park and hop out of my car. We set up the bed in a spare room, they go over the instructions on how to operate it and give me a couple other things that will help with making Rey's dad's life easier. After paying them I say thank you and give Rey a call letting her know that I can go pick her up, but she insists on driving here so I give up on arguing with her knowing it's pointless.

It feels like it has been hours when she finally arrives. I had waited outside sipping on a beer so I could help her if needed. She gets out of the car and is radiant as the sun. How the hell did I get so damn lucky?

She gives me a timid wave before going around the side to open the passenger door. She's saying something to her dad but seems to be having issues with getting him out of the car. I move towards them and notice her dad looks like he has already had the life sucked out of him. He's all skin and bones, his blue eyes are tired, and his hair has already begun to fall out.

"Hello sir, I'm Kylo."

He smiles weakly at me, "Wow, you're massive," he chuckles and begins to cough.

"I ate my vegetables," I joke, "Can I help you out?"

"Please, Rey is strong, but I think you'll be more capable of dragging my hundred pound body out of this car."

I take his hand, he's able to step out of the car, but before he falls to his knees I catch him.

"You okay?"

He nods, "Just tired."

"Can I carry you?"

He stares up at me, tilting his head to the side, "Only if that's okay with you."

"I'm more than capable of doing so."

"Then please, I don't think I can take another step."

Rey watches with wide eyes as I lift him into my arms with ease and begin the ascent of my front porch stairs into the house. I can hear Rey following close behind as I walk up the stairs to the room I had prepared for him, gently laying him on the bed. I notice he had fallen asleep right away whilst in my arms and I can't help but smile. I pull the covers over him and allow him to get some rest.

"You're amazing," Rey whispers and I pull her into my arms.

"I'm not amazing, you are."

"Thank you for everything Kylo. I really don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd be fine without me, you're strong."

"I'm not," she sighs, pressing her face into my chest.

I stroke her hair, "Yes you are."

She begins to cry and I held her close to me.

* * *

 

The days are not easy.

Rey's father grows sicker by the minute, he can't even use the bathroom by himself. I bathe him, make sure he's drinking fluids even though I know it's a bitch to get down, and I watch him grow weaker and weaker knowing there's nothing I can do to save him.

He rejected the nurse telling me he'd rather have me around than her. He enjoys my conversations and he feels more comfortable with me caring for him more so than Rey or the nurse.

He doesn't want Rey to see him falling apart, but it's inevitable. I hear them talking sometimes and he tells her how sorry he is, how much he hates that she has to lose both her parents to cancer and that if he could go back and be a better father to her he would, but he understands that can never be. He tells her it may be too late for him, but he will always love her.

Rey cries every night and I hold her, soothing her with soft caresses and words of comfort. I don't think anything I say will make things better, but I make sure she knows that I'm not leaving her.

Finn and Rose stop by a couple times, ensuring her that they will be pushing the wedding back so that she can be there. They don't want to have a wedding where Rey can't even be there. I'm glad that she has friends to lean on.

The days turn into months and on one sunny morning, Rey's father passes away.

Rey cried for hours upon hours as I took care of setting up the arrangements for the funeral. He wanted to be cremated so I make sure to abide by his wishes while I do my best to be a shoulder for Rey to cry on.

The funeral is simplistic, not many people show, and Rey and I are the last ones standing there by his tombstone.

"I loved him, even though he hurt me…I never wanted this for him."

I glance over at Rey, all her tears have run out and she stands there stoically before turning her attention to me. A sad smile appears on her gorgeous face.

"I'm going to miss him," she murmurs.

I cup her jaw, "I know baby."

She leans into the touch, "Let's go home…"

 

* * *

 

6 MONTHS LATER

"I now pronounce you man and wife," the priest says, Finn and Rose lean in giving one another a chaste kiss as everyone claps in excitement.

They walk down the aisle, all smiles, and I feel Rey slip her arm in mine as we follow close behind them. The wedding is beautiful, Rey's speech was perfect, and we drink and dance till our feet can't take it anymore.

When the night ends, I take Rey home and make love to her.

I whisper I love you to her over and over again as I rock into her, feeling her nails digging into my back.

She cries out and I smother it with a kiss.

After, as I lie there staring at her sleep form, I smile, because as I said I always knew she would be the one for me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXOXO


	10. Crown of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this happened....I really hope you all enjoy!  
> I just really want to thank everyone who has read this story up to this point and all the lovely comments you've shared with me. They have made me smile and made my days brighter.  
> Much love <3

Kylo

"You look nervous Kylo, you doing okay?" Phasma asks as she slides my usual honey whiskey over to me.

"I'm going to ask Rey to marry me," I confess and down the entire glass before sliding it back over to her.

Her blue eyes go wide on her face, a bright smile flashed my way, "No way!? Are you serious??"

"Entirely, we've been dating almost two years now and I'm not getting any younger. I already know she's the one so I can only hope that she says yes."

"Of course she's going to say yes silly! She's madly in love with you."

"Well, she's a lot younger than me, so I can understand why she wouldn't want to settle down."

Phasma sighs in exasperation, "C'mon Kylo, she may be young, but she knows what she wants and I know without a doubt that is a life with you."

I smile, "Hopefully."

"When are you going to crack the question?"

"Tonight over dinner."

"Where's the dinner going to be at?"

"My place…I'm going to cook and I'm setting up flowers and shit like that," I mutter feeling heat span my body.

"Aww, you're getting all embarrassed, but that sounds perfect Kylo. Cheers to you!" She pours us both a glass, we clink them together and knock them back.

"Thank you Phasma, you'll definitely be invited to the wedding if she says yes," I say as I place a couple twenties on the counter.

"Good luck!"

I wave goodbye, driving to the store to grab a couple steaks, wine, and headed back to my place so I could set up. I cleaned the hell out of my house, making sure that every crevice in this place was spotless. After doing so, I was sweating way too much so I took a cold shower, somehow Rey flitted through my mind and I couldn't resist getting myself off to the thought of her.

"Devil woman," I muttered and got out of the shower, picking out a nice white button up and some black slacks forgoing shoes. I ran some gel through my hair and when my hair refused to bend to my will gave up so I could get the steaks prepared before she got here.

Just as I finished putting the final touches to the steak, the bell rang, and I ran over to let her in. Instead of the smile I expected to see, she looked terrified, and my smile fell. I moved out of the way to let her in and she set her purse down, shrugging her jacket off quickly. She wore a pretty blouse and tight skirt that made me groan on the inside but seeing her expression was enough for that thought to be washed out completely.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head, biting at her nails as she moved towards the kitchen, but I grabbed the inside of her elbow hauling her back to me.

"Rey, please just tell me what's going on."

She turns to face me, there are tears pricking the corner of her eyes, "I'm scared Kylo."

I push a strand of hair out of her face, "You can tell me anything Rey."

Her lip quivers, she swallows and then turns my entire world on its axis with two words, "I'm pregnant."

My hand falls back to my side with an audible thud, brows furrow together as I try to process what she has just told me. Her tears slip down her face and I can only stand there like a dumbass.

"We used protection," I finally muttered.

"Well, obviously it didn't work," she hisses and I realize I've made her defensive with the way I'm acting.

I had never thought about what it would be like to have a kid. With my ex-wife, there was no way in hell that I was ever going to have her spawn and from that point on I made sure there was never a possibility for us to have a kid.

Being a father just wasn't in the cards for me and now that it was it was absolutely terrifying. Still, Rey carrying my child didn't sound horrible at all. It actually made me slightly excited even with the fear coursing through me.

I cupped her face, smiling down at her, her brows furrowed at the shift, "I may not be cut out to be a father, but I'll do my best."

"W-what? You want me to keep it?" She sounded shocked and I guess that was what I get for being an idiot about a minute ago.

"Yes, that's our child growing inside of you. I'm happy Rey. I'm beyond scared, but happy."

Her tears began to fall faster, a watery smile formed on her face, "Are you sure Kylo?"

"Of course I am. I love you Rey and I love our child."

I pulled her in for a kiss, it was meant to be chaste, but I couldn't stop myself from running the tip of my tongue along the seam of her lips demanding entrance. When she relented, I got lost in the heat and passion of our lips and tongues moving in unison. Neither one of us tried to dominate the kiss, instead, we found a rhythm that had us both clinging tighter to one another.

This woman was everything I ever needed in this life and now she was going to bear me a child that I was going to love just as much as I loved her. I was going to be the best damn dad there ever was and this child was going to only know what it felt like to be loved.

My mother was going to be over the moon when she found out she was going to finally be a grandma after thirty-five years of waiting for me to get my shit together.

I kissed Rey harder, not giving two shits about the steaks that were growing cold. I lifted her up into my arms, she let out a tiny squeak and I chuckled against her lips before claiming them once again. I maneuvered us to the bedroom, laying her gently on the bed. I made haste with pushing her skirt all the way up to her hips, lowering my face between her thighs. I pressed soft kisses against her inner thighs, loving the way her thighs quaked as I did so.

I tear the fabric of her panties in one foul swoop and am rewarded with a gasp. I chuckle softly, parting her outer lips, licking a teasing path from her opening all the way up to her clit where I press a gentle kiss to it. After that, I lick her everywhere except where she wants me most when she bucks her hips up desperate for more I splay my palm on her stomach and push her body back to the mattress. She whimpers when I trace a finger around her opening and nip lightly at her clit.

"Such a good girl."

She moans low when I work the finger in and out of her tight core. I push the hood of her clit up and suck hard on it eliciting a scream from her. Her hands reach out threading themselves through my hair before tugging hard. I growl at the tight pressure but don't relent in my ministrations. I push another finger inside, her walls flutter madly around them as I continue to circle her nub with my tongue, alternating between licking, sucking, and nipping that is bringing her closer and closer to her release.

 Right when I feel she's about to go over the edge I stop all movement, pulling away, she pins me with a look that could kill and I can't help but laugh. I rid myself of my pants, briefs, and tear my shirt over my head. She seems to not care so much about my teasing any longer as I pull her skirt off and help her out of her blouse and bra. Before she can say anything I position myself at her entrance and thrust all my length inside of her. We both groan in unison. I pull all the way to the tip only to slam completely back inside of her.

It feels like heaven every-single-fucking-time she lets me inside of her and I thank whatever god out there that gave her to me. Her moans filter through my ears and it makes my heart pound faster.

She's so damn perfect, her hair is splayed out around her face like a halo. Her eyes are closed tightly, pretty pink lips parted as she sucks air in greedily while my every thrust makes her breath hitch and fingers tighten in the bed sheets. I sit back on my haunches, hands gripping tighter to her hips as I pick up in speed, pounding into her relentlessly. Her walls drag deliciously along my cock and I growl at the pleasure that starts at the base of my spine spurring me on further.

I have to be closer to her so I slam my hands down bracketing her head, her eyes snap open and I could fall into those hazel orbs. I clutch onto the back of her hair tugging her head back as our breaths mingle together with how close our lips are to one another.

"I love you so fucking much," I growl and her brows furrow in passion.

"I love you too," she cries out as I penetrate her deeper.

I cup her soft tit with my other hand and revel in the way she leans up to seal our lips together. From there everything gets messy, our kisses are sloppy with lust, my hips snap so fast and hard that I'm sure I'm bruising her, but by the way she moans helplessly into my mouth I doubt she cares much. I'm touching her anywhere I can reach, our hearts are beating hard against one another, and I'm sure she's short-circuiting my brain with the way she nips at my lips and her tongue licks along them as well.

"I'm close," I whisper and she moans wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Cum for me," she murmurs by my ear.

"Fuck!" I manage to reach in between our bodies and circle her clit, her walls grip me tighter and I make a sound that sounds more animal than human.

I fist her hair, slamming my lips against her as I feel her convulse beneath me with her release and I follow only shortly after her. We breath hard against each other's lips and we're both covered in a fine sheen of sweat, but neither of us moves to rinse off. Instead, we stare at each other, her fingers trace my jaw as we do so.

"Your eyes are so lovely."

"They're black," I deadpan.

She laughs sweetly, "Still lovely you silly man."

As she threads her fingers through my hair I find the courage to ask her the tough question.

"Rey, I know this may not be the best time to ask this, but I had already planned to so will you marry me?"

Tears instantly fall down her face, "Kylo, of course, I'll marry you!"

I smile at her and we get lost in another heated kiss.

"You're my world Rey…I can't wait to marry you and meet our kid."

"Oh Kylo," she whispers pressing her forehead to mine.

She falls asleep first and I end up falling asleep to the sound of her breathing.

 

* * *

 

Three Months Later

Rey

"You look radiant!" Rose exclaims as she takes me in. I smile shyly at her.

"I look like a balloon, but thank you for the compliment."

We take a seat at a booth, scanning over the menu. These days not much things sound good to eat but I see that they have a BLT sandwich and it's calling my name.

"I can't believe you're pregnant and getting married in two weeks!"

"Me either, this is all so crazy. I never thought this would be my life, but I can't complain."

"How has Kylo been handling all of it?"

"He's been amazing! I really don't know what I'd do without him. He always makes sure I'm comfortable wherever we go, he constantly gives me back and foot massages. He caters to my every need without even being asked, it's like he can read my mind or something. He's excited to be a father."

Rose sighs happily, resting her jaw on her palm, “I’m so happy for you Rey. I never thought that guy would get his head out of his arse, but I’m glad he did.”

I snort, “I was thinking the same thing. I’m so happy he figured his shit out because I was not going to wait around and let him think he could boss me around.”

“You showed him, girl,” she says with finality and snaps her fingers.

We both erupt into a fit of giggles after that.

“So how’s the married life?” I ask when we finally calm down.

“It’s been wonderful. I was worried marriage would ruin our relationship, but it’s only made it stronger. Finn is such a great guy and I couldn’t be luckier.”

I grasp her hand in mine, “We’re moving on up in the world aren’t we Rose?”

She smiles, “Yes we sure are.”

We order our food, chatting merrily as we eat until we’re done and we go our separate ways.

I arrive home a short time later, noticing Kylo’s truck is parked outside. He’s usually at work at this hour. I walk in and he must hear the door shut because he calls out, “Don’t come in here!”

I set my purse down, “What are you up to in there?” I call back.

“It’s a surprise! I’m almost done! Five minutes!”

I chuckle deciding to help myself to the cookies and cream ice cream that’s been calling my name all day. I grab a bowl, placing three scoops inside, and plop down into the dining table seat. My back aches and I groan at the way my feet immediately feel slightly better from being off them. No one can prepare a woman for having to carry a child, the pain that comes with it is not pleasant at all. Half the time I feel like I’m carrying a bowling ball everywhere I go and I fear that I’m not going to pay attention and ram my stomach into something, but luckily it seems as if my motherly instincts are up to par.

The ice cream tastes like heaven and I devour it faster than I had wanted to. I hear Kylo’s footsteps thud closer and then he’s standing right in front of me. There’s a streak of pink paint on his cheek, he wears a wolfish grin on his face and lowers to his knees before me. He presses his unscathed cheek to my belly and I smooth back his sweat laden hair. He closes his eyes, listening closely to see if our daughter wants to make herself known.

“Hey there darling,” he whispers and my heart leaps for joy in my chest at the sweet nature, his eyes grow wide all of a sudden, “She kicked!”

“I felt it too,” I murmur running my fingers through his dark locks.

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Me either.”

He stands abruptly to his feet putting his hand out for me to take, “Let me show you that surprise.”

I take his hand and he’s easily able to lift me to my feet, tugging me along to the room next to ours, “Close your eyes.”

I do as he asks, giggling as he leads me into the room, “Now open,” he says by my ear as he wraps his arms around me pulling me into the hard planes of his chest.

I open my eyes and gasp. The room is painted in an array of different pinks, a beautiful crib sits in one corner of the room, a chest that I assume is filled with toys for when she’s older sits on the opposite side. There is a handmade rocking chair and a nursing station. My eyes well up with tears.

“This is beautiful Kylo.”

“You like it?”

“I love it!” I exclaim in disbelief. He really took the time to do this for our girl, it feels me to the brim with love and I spin around in his arms snatching his lips with my own.

He chuckles and deepens the kiss.

We pull away a moment later, “I bet she’ll be as beautiful as her mother.”

“I hope she gets your hair and eyes.”

He scoffs, “Hell no, I’m ugly.”

I glower at him, pinching his side, he yelps and moves away from me, “You know that’s a lie.”

“Whatever you say,” he moves closer predatorily, gripping my jaw in his hold, “Baby girl.”

“We can never call her that,” I laugh, but the way he’s looking at me suggests he wants to do dirty things to me right now.

“Trust me, love, I will _never_ call her that,” he whispers and claims my lips in another maddening kiss.

* * *

 

The music sounds, I stare over at Finn who is smiling down at me. I smile back happy that he was so willing to walk me down the aisle and even though it’s a bittersweet moment, I’m glad that my dad is no longer suffering.

We begin our descent down the aisle, the small crowd stands, and I see Kylo looking like a god with his perfectly tailored black suit, and hair smoothed back away from his face. His muscles are highlighted gloriously and it makes my mouth water. He grins from ear to ear as I stand before him at the altar, Finn leans down pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“Thank you,” I murmur.

“Anything for you,” he replies and takes his place next to Poe on Kylo’s side.

Rose is wiping tears away from her eyes, she mouths I love you and I mouth it right back. Kylo offers his hand to me and I take it. I stand before him, even in heels ,I have to crane my neck to look up into his dark gaze.

We then both recite after what the priest tells us.

 “I Rey, take you, Kylo to be my husband I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

I slip the tungsten ring onto his finger. He then pulls out a beautiful cobalt ring and places it on my ring finger.

“I Kylo take you, Rey, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

He slips the ring onto my finger and smiles down at me.

“The lovely couple would also like to recite some vows of their own, Rey you may begin.”

My heart pounds as I hold tightly to his hands, “Kylo, we may have not met in the most traditional of ways and I could have never fathomed that we would be standing here today, but I want you to know that I don’t regret a single day of being with you. You mean so much to me and I can’t wait to share the rest of my life with you. Our daughter is going to be the luckiest little munchkin to have a father like you. I know you’re going to spoil her and love her with every ounce of your heart. Kylo, thank you for taking a chance on me, thank you for being there in my darkest moments, and thank you for loving me. I love you.”

I see tears well up in his eyes and am taken aback by the emotion that crashes over him, “Rey,” he says with a choked up voice before he clears it and continues, “You are my world. Life was dull and grey before you showed up and shined your radiant light upon me. I never thought in a million years that a woman as intelligent and beautiful as you would ever like a guy like me, but I’m happy that you chose me. You have stood by me even when I wasn’t the nicest of guys to you and I want to say thank you for providing me with endless love. I can’t wait to meet our daughter and I will make sure she knows how much she is loved, just like I hope you know how much you are loved. You are my everything and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my days with you by my side. I love you.”

“I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss your bride.”

Kylo’s warm palm grasps onto the nape of my neck and pulls me into a passionate kiss that shows how much he loves me. The crowd applauds, cheering loudly, but all I can feel is Kylo.

Life is crazy and I couldn’t be happier with the outcome.

* * *

 

“Push! That’s it!”

I want to scream, but Kylo is letting me grip is hand so tightly I’m surprised he hasn’t yanked it away yet. I hear cries only a moment later and there our daughter is.

“A healthy baby girl,” the doctor coos.

I hear Kylo stifle a laugh and I shoot him a warning look. He smirks at me.

They wash her off, wrapping her in a blanket and place her in my arms, “She’s so tiny,” I whisper feeling overjoyed.

“Perfect,” Kylo mutters, he looks so handsome as he stares at our daughter with so much love.

“You want to hold her?”

“Can I?” His eyes are wide.

“She is your daughter,” I tease.

He lifts her into his arms so tenderly, he dwarfs her in size, and in his arms ,she’s so miniscule. He talks to her and I close my eyes with a smile knowing she’s in safe hands.

My heart is full for the first time in my life and it’s all thanks to Kylo and our beautiful daughter.

Our beautiful little Sophie Ren, with black hair and dark eyes just like her papa.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you <3  
> XOXO


	11. Sophie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has come to its end and I just want to say thank you to every person that supported and read this story!  
> I'm sorry to end it so suddenly, but it's time to put a good thing to rest.  
> Thank you once again for reading and I hope you all enjoy my further projects <3  
> Much love <3  
> XOXO

Kylo

“You are so beautiful to me, can’t you see, you’re everything I hope for, you’re everything I need, you are so beautiful to me,” I whisper as Sophie coos, wrapping a tiny finger around my own.

Our little Sophie is already five months old as of today and I have loved every-single-minute of my time with her. She has a mess of dark curls, her eyes are brown, but if you look closely there are little bits of blue in the mix. She’s gorgeous and though she kind of looks like me, I think she looks more like Rey.

I think we both got lucky that she is an avid eater, not fussy, nor picky, and loves to try to say words even though it comes out as a bunch of gurgle sounds. She’s a light in my life that I never thought I needed, but I couldn’t be happier to finally be in a healthy relationship with a woman and have a daughter that puts a smile on my face no matter how crappy my day may have been.

My mother is over the moon with her, she absolutely loves to spoil her even though Sophie is not at an age where toys mean much to her. My mom adores Sophie and it’s obvious that Sophie adores her. Every time she sees my mom walk in the room, she starts clapping and giggling, reaching out to her with her stumpy arms. Of course, it makes my mom squeal like a little girl and then she refuses to let anyone hold Sophie until she gets her fill.

All I can say is that life has gotten a whole lot grander now that I have so much love in it.

Sophie has fallen asleep in my arms and it warms my heart seeing how at ease she is in my arms. I gently lay her down in her crib and whisper I love you before I make my way back into the room I share with Rey.

Rey has been a trooper, she is definitely the best mom in the world, and any chance I get to help her with Sophie so she can get more sleep is always a plus in my book. Right now Rey seems so peaceful as I move beside her and watch the rise and fall of her chest. She has been stressed out lately juggling painting and taking care of the baby and it’s been a long time since we’ve had sex, but that’s beside the point-sort of.

Rey is beautiful and the desire I have for her has no limits. I miss caressing every part of her body and I miss the sounds she makes when she’s reaching release. To be exact we haven’t had sex since the baby was born, we were both too busy rushing around trying to figure out how to raise a child with us both being new parents and all. My cock decides to make itself known and I growl at the discomfort it causes. Rolling onto my back I let out a sigh and place my hands behind my head. I try to think about anything other than Rey, but my mind has other plans.

“Kylo? You okay?” Rey sleepily asks as she rubs her eyes.

“I’m fine, go back to bed,” I say and curse at how strained my voice sounds.

When her palm splays out on my stomach, it clenches hard, and she chuckles, “Someone is a little tense.”

“Am I? I didn’t notice,” I mutter sarcastically.

“Is Sophie alright?” She runs her fingertips lightly over my abs, trailing them up to my chest where she circles a nipple and drags her nails down to my happy trail.

“Yes, she’s asleep,” I grunt wrapping my hand around her wrist to stop her teasing.

 She cuddles up against my side, her breath is warm against my ear, “You want to fuck me Kylo?”

I shudder, my grip goes slack around her wrist, and she takes that opportunity to push her hand under my waistband wrapping her hand around my hardening length. She runs her hand up and down a couple times, biting down on the shell of my ear causing my breath to hitch.

Her thumb runs around the tip spreading the pre-come that has gathered there and uses it to aid her ministrations.

“I’ve missed your cock so much.” She nips along my jaw only driving me crazier with need.

I buck my hips into her hold on me, “F-fuck, I need you.”

I manage to chuck my pants off and move between her thighs with her still holding onto my length. Our lips crashed together, she arches against me her tits rub along my chest and I growl in pleasure. The hair is rising on my arms at how good it feels to have her beneath me once again. My tongue is demanding as it flicks into her mouth begging for her to reciprocate the action. When her tongue meets my own I practically lose it and delve deeper.

I wind my hand into her brown tresses, tugging her head back as I leave kisses along her jaw, to her neck, and down to her sternum where I tug the cotton tank, she is wearing down so I can latch my mouth on her sensitive bud. She cries out when I suck tenderly, I groan around it. I focus on the bud, licking, and nipping before I give attention to the other one. The entire time she is grinding against me, soft moans escaping her as I take what I want greedily

I tear her panties down her thighs, sealing our lips together once again. Tongues slip in and out, teeth nip at each other, my fist tightens in her hair and before I know it I’m shoving all of my cock inside her warm cunt. We both moan in unison, I wish I could savor the moment, but we both know that is not going to happen right now.

She wraps her legs around my waist, my hips are already setting a brutal pace, and it’s making her breath hitch with every thrust. Her full breasts shake with the force rendering me speechless at how intoxicating she looks at this very moment. Her head is thrown back as I roll my hips, making sure that I’m hitting every spot inside her warmth to drive her over the edge.

I pull out only to turn her on her stomach, she pushes up on her hands and knees as I grasp onto her waist. I give her no warning as I penetrate her with an almost violent thrust forward, she cries out landing on her forearms and digs her face into the sheets.

I can’t help myself as I pound into her harder and harder, gripping onto her slender waist hard enough that I’m sure I’m leaving bruises, but she just whimpers in delight with every thrust. I skate my hand up her spine, reveling in how soft her skin is. I hunch over her to press kisses along her shoulders, she reaches back grasping onto my thigh. I bite down hard on the spot between her neck and shoulder and am rewarded with the sweetest moan that I’ve ever heard.

I slam my hand down beside her head startling her as I wrap the other around her throat. If she’s scared she doesn’t say so, instead, she hunkers down on my cock and I groan in pleasure gripping tighter, but not enough to hurt her or cut off her breathing. I’m panting so hard and she’s whimpering over and over again, her walls beginning to wrap tighter around me.

“You gonna come for me baby girl?” I growl.

She can only moan in response, I chuckle and continue my impatient penetration until she takes me off guard by putting my cock in a vice grip as she cries out with her release.

“Ah, fuck!” I grasp onto her jaw, yanking her head to the side, and slam my lips onto hers swallowing down her moans.

My hand grips her waist harder and my hips snap erratically as I chase my own release. My tongue dominates hers and she willingly gives me the reins. My brows begin to furrow as I feel the pleasure start at my spine.

“I’m going to come,” I panted against her lips.

“Fill me up please!”

Shit! My orgasm washes over me like a ten-foot wave and I’m taken under the relentless current only to be spit out sometime later gasping for breath.

I press my forehead into the space between her shoulders, breathing hard, and my heart is beating uncontrollably in my chest.

Finally, I move off of her and plop down beside her. Fuck that was intense.

I hear the soft sound of her sleeping and laugh under my breath closing my own eyes, falling into slumber just as quickly as she did.

* * *

 

Rey

“Oh my goodness, can she get any cuter!” Finn exclaims as he makes baby sounds at Sophie who is just eating them up.

Rose sits on the couch, running a palm along her swollen belly. She is six months pregnant and I can’t wait for her son and my daughter to have play dates.

Finn presses a kiss to Sophie’s head and she giggles in kind.

“She looks so much like you,” Rose says.

I place my hands on my hips and tilt my head, taking in all of Sophie who is now eight months old. I guess I can see a lot of me in her facial features, but her eyes and hair all belong to her dad.

“Hmm, you’re right. She has my lips and cheekbones doesn’t she?”

Rose nods with a smile and I decide to plop down beside her resting my head on her shoulder.

“You excited for your son to be born?”

“Hell yeah! I already know he’s going to fight his way out of me. He’s so active,” she chuckles.

“Takes after his mother,” Finn says as he sits down to me. I wrap my arm around his shoulders and smile at Sophie who’s giggling as she plays with her toy blocks. I never thought this would be my life, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I have everything I’ve ever needed.

Loving friends.

A perfect Husband.

Beautiful Daughter.

And a heart full of love…

I can’t wait to see where life takes me…

I snuggle closer to my friends and smile.

Yes. This is everything I need.

* * *

 

End.

XOXO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Come find me on tumblr!  
> https://spikeisinspace.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! <3


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